Of Hugs and Hurting

September 17, 2025 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,692 Days Alive

Went to the clinic today, to try and address my hip pain and Lowe back pain. They’re not able to ge time in for PT until after December.

Edit/ I am exhausted and it is five am. I should go to bed.

Take you meds folks.

Of Unspoken Words and Umbrage

September 16, 2025 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,691 Days Alive

I am exhausted and overwhelmed and fucking drowning.

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Prompt Answer: Doing This Evening

September 15, 2025 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

What are you doing this evening?

I am finishing up cleaning up our lovely dinner of salad and chicken nuggets before hitting the books in my two courses this five week term: biology and college math.

I am low-key terrified because I’ve always been told I am a mathematical moron. I don’t agree, but Indo agree that number flip around on me sometimes (thanks, dyscalculia! Not really. Fucking hell it sucks.)

Of Color and Classwork

September 14, 2025 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,689 Days Alive

17 Minutes of a Close Call

I published/uploaded my final assignment for this week seventeen minutes before it was due. Forty-five freaking minutes were spent fighting with pivot tables. Ugh.

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Of Lie Ins and Laid Off

September 13, 2025 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,688 Days Alive

80+ Job Applications Put In

$23.00 Spent on 26 Sliced, Freshly Made Donuts and Two Tubs of Whipped Cream Cheese

3 Cat Treats Stolen from Spock By Benny

1 Gradual Reduction of Shock

I think I’m ready to talk about what happened on Thursday. Prefacing with I am physically fine, I am mentally, emotionally, and fiscally fucked.

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Prompt Answer: Red Flags

September 12, 2025 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

The biggest red flag that someone could wave for me is a lack of empathy. That’s it. That’s the heart of it for me. If I have to explain to you that you should care about your planet, fellow humans, or other living creatures, I’m out. If you cannot be a decent human being for the sake of being a decent human being, you have no place in my life.

Prompt Answer: Relaxing

September 11, 2025 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ 1 Comment

How do you relax?

I am bad a doing nothing. Especially today. Lot of emotions, lot of stress. I’m just going to crochet.

Of Stress and Soup

September 10, 2025 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,685 Days Alive

I made a damn good chicken soup for dinner. I didn’t have to deal with the bone in chicken, thankfully. Bryan took care of it for me.

Work sucked. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Take your meds, folks.

Of Overworked and Optimism

September 9, 2025 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,684 Days Alive

8 Hours, 50 Minutes Working By Myself

7 More Jobs Applied For

My coworker Nina was out sick today. It was overwhelming.

Tomorrow will be better, right?

Take your meds, folks.

Prompt Answer: Why Blog?

September 8, 2025 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

Why do you blog?

I am going to answer this in typical Theo fashion: in a round about way.

I grew up lonely in a crowd of people who overlooked me so thoroughly, so completely. They never seemed to see me. Instead, they saw how I could be useful to them. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized I came from a household that never truly had a chance in hell to be whole or balanced or not broken.

I am the child of several very complicated people. Flawed, broken, human people who made mistakes and had their small victories. Whether I want to or not, I live on in the wake of their deaths, some of them. For the living, I strive on in hopes of seeing them again soon.

I blog because I am a fantastically flawed human being who strives to leave the world a little better in their wake. I blog so maybe, someday, I won’t be forgotten as soon as I return to dust. I blog to be seen, hear, and see and hear others in turn.

I blog for myself, for you and any other person I can call friend.