13,031 Days Alive
I had my meds doctor appointment today. I was honest about how much I’m struggling and how suicidal I am.
Continue reading “Of Tears and Tacos”Of Tears and Tacos
Category: Depression
Of Dill and Dishes
13,030 Days Alive
3 Cucumber Dill Sandwiches Consumed
My poor team lead Miss Britt is down for the count with a sinus infection, the poor dear. I hope she feels better soon. Work went well today, though I wish I’d gotten more calls done.
Continue reading “Of Dill and Dishes”Of Chicken and Calling
13,029 Days Alive
I actually feel like I did well at work today. I did a lot of calls, I think, and I didn’t cry in my car after work. Even had the spoons to make dinner when I got home despite being exhausted.
Continue reading “Of Chicken and Calling”Of Shopping and Synonyms
13,028 Days Alive
1,842 Steps Walked Today
2 Packs of Mushrooms Bought for Under $3.00
1 Final Chimichanga Eaten
So. The synonym of the day is “lifestyle change” rather than dieting. Because dieting has very negative connections in my mind and I take it to extreme and dangerous lengths. So instead, I’m making a lifestyle change.
Continue reading “Of Shopping and Synonyms”Of Paranoia and Paranorman
13,026 Days Alive
Today was awful and I don’t want to talk about it. The highlight of my day was watching the Lakia film Paranorman.
Continue reading “Of Paranoia and Paranorman”Of Struggles and Silence
13,025 Days Alive
I’m… still not okay. I don’t have the spoon to go into it much, but suffice it to say that I’m terrified I’m going to lose my job. And by extension my place or live and car and everything.
I just don’t have a lot of fight left in me.
I’m going to bed.
Take your meds , folks.
Of Appointments and Apathy
13,022 Days Alive
Fair warning: heavy topics hereafter: it has been brought to my attention that being actively suicidal means my meds aren’t working. I thought it was something wrong with me. I’m not unhappy, per se, at least not more than usual. I mean, I’ve even had some good days recently.
Continue reading “Of Appointments and Apathy”Of Pearls and Progress
13,021 Days Alive
1 Cup of Chai Enjoyed
So I made cheaters Caprese salad this evening. Basil, tomato, mozzarella pearls, spring mix, white onion, and balsamic vinaigrette. Super easy to make and eat. It gets better the longer it rests, too, so the leftovers will be awesome tomorrow.
Continue reading “Of Pearls and Progress”Of Plans and Pizza
13,020 Days Alive
5 Episodes of Kitchen Nightmares Watched
4 Slices of Pizza Eaten
I had planned to make cookies after attending Crafty Women via Zoom this morning. But with Spock waking me up yet again at just past five thirty in the morning, I was exhausted.
Continue reading “Of Plans and Pizza”Of Nausea and Nachos
13,018 Days Alive
3 Days of Migraine
1 Nauseous Me
I left work early today. I didn’t throw up in the trash can at work again, but it was a near thing. I did end up pain-puking when I got home and knocked out after a second dose of imatrex for almost three hours today.
Continue reading “Of Nausea and Nachos”Of Groceries and Going Forward
13,016 Days Alive
5 Jalapeño Poppers Eaten
2 Grocery Stores Visited
1 Slightly Exhausted Me
There are times where I feel if I stop moving, if I slow down, if I freeze up, I’ll keel over. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s a form of mania? I’m honestly not sure. Whatever it is, it’s exhausting. Utterly taxing.
Continue reading “Of Groceries and Going Forward”Of Brownouts and Blankets
13,015 Days Alive
1 Hour Without Power at Work
Today was fantastically frustrating. We lost power just after lunch today. Not for too long, but long enough to be annoying and to throw off my whole day.
Continue reading “Of Brownouts and Blankets”Of The Princess Bride and Power Outages
13,014 Days Alive
21 Motifs to Finish
2 Lovey-Dovey Movies
1.5 Hours Without Power
1 Still Under the Weather Kitty
So the power knocked out for about two hours or so earlier today. We were watching The Princess Bride when the power went out. Fen and I opened up the house and did some cleaning while the power was out.
Continue reading “Of The Princess Bride and Power Outages”