15,106 Days Alive
1,235 Words Written on My Phone
-$58.52 To My Name Till I Have a Job Again
3 Days Till My In-Person Interview
I forgot to stop an auto payment from my bank so now I am negative almost sixty dollars in the bank. I feel hellaciously pathetic. On top of being sick, I have put in over a hundred job applications with less than a dozen interviews resulting.
Part of that os the market. Part of it is ghost jobs that they decide theyre just not going to hire someone. And a part of it may be how many times I have moved around, regardless of the reason. I feel like a loser. Like Luisa from Encanto when she can’t lift the piano. Like I have no usefulness outside of the financial benefits I can bring.
I know its brain gremlins. Owl does not make me feel like I am a burden on her, even if I feel like I am regardless. I hate being out of work. Six weeks. Six weeks of feeling like I am failing at being an adult.
It will get better. Maybe Monday will be amazing! I hope so. Keep your fingers crossed and thoughts positive for me!
In other news, I stayed up far too late last night chatting via text message with Goblyn. They were using their VR headset and the game they were in kept killing them. Which led to the inevitable pterodactyl screeching of dismay. Heh. Normally, I can sleep through it. But I was already having some trouble with getting to sleep and the random glass-cracking noises did not help. He calmed down around three or so, thankfully. So I still got a full five or six hours before I got up this morning.
I am going to try and get some sleep before I keep myself awake too long out of sheer exhaustion and stress.
Take your meds, folls.
