Coming back from the other side of my Bipolar Wonderland through medication, creativity, and moxie.
13,034 Days Alive
1.5 Loads of Laundry Done
1 Living Room Reorganized
I spent most of my day relaxing. Be it with just Spock and myself or with Sparrow, Fen, and I, today was just a chill day.
Continue reading “Of Laundry and Living Rooms”
13,033 Days Alive
3 Cookie Dough Flautas Eaten
2 New Prescriptions
1 Long Day
My arm still hurts like the dickens from my COVID vaccination. But I’m not noticing any ill effects from it otherwise. Except being more tired than usual, but that would be lack of sleep.
Continue reading “Of Prescriptions and Princesses”
13,032 Days Alive
I went to bed over an hour ago. I’m still not asleep. I know I’m tired. I even took meds to sleep. My arm is a little sore from where they gave me my second Covid vaccine shot.
Continue reading “Of Shots and Sleeping”
13,031 Days Alive
I had my meds doctor appointment today. I was honest about how much I’m struggling and how suicidal I am.
Continue reading “Of Tears and Tacos”13,030 Days Alive
3 Cucumber Dill Sandwiches Consumed
My poor team lead Miss Britt is down for the count with a sinus infection, the poor dear. I hope she feels better soon. Work went well today, though I wish I’d gotten more calls done.
Continue reading “Of Dill and Dishes”
13,029 Days Alive
I actually feel like I did well at work today. I did a lot of calls, I think, and I didn’t cry in my car after work. Even had the spoons to make dinner when I got home despite being exhausted.
Continue reading “Of Chicken and Calling”
13,028 Days Alive
1,842 Steps Walked Today
2 Packs of Mushrooms Bought for Under $3.00
1 Final Chimichanga Eaten
So. The synonym of the day is “lifestyle change” rather than dieting. Because dieting has very negative connections in my mind and I take it to extreme and dangerous lengths. So instead, I’m making a lifestyle change.
Continue reading “Of Shopping and Synonyms”
13,026 Days Alive
Today was awful and I don’t want to talk about it. The highlight of my day was watching the Lakia film Paranorman.
Continue reading “Of Paranoia and Paranorman”
13,025 Days Alive
I’m… still not okay. I don’t have the spoon to go into it much, but suffice it to say that I’m terrified I’m going to lose my job. And by extension my place or live and car and everything.
I just don’t have a lot of fight left in me.
I’m going to bed.
Take your meds , folks.
13,024 Days Alive
1 Bowl of Pasta Eaten
I’m more exhausted than a NASCAR tailpipe right now, and I’m fried from work, so I’ll be quick.
I’m really, really in a dark place right now. I’m having trouble with the mental radio.
I’m not okay. But I’m going to do my best to power through this down slide.
I’m going to go cry myself to sleep.
Take your meds, folks.
13,023 Days Alive
15 Hour Day
2 Slices of Cake Eaten
I’ve been up since six am. Relatively okay, actually. I got done what I aimed to do this work day and mostly relaxed after work.
Continue reading “Of Pills and Pain Levels”
13,022 Days Alive
Fair warning: heavy topics hereafter: it has been brought to my attention that being actively suicidal means my meds aren’t working. I thought it was something wrong with me. I’m not unhappy, per se, at least not more than usual. I mean, I’ve even had some good days recently.
Continue reading “Of Appointments and Apathy”
13,021 Days Alive
1 Cup of Chai Enjoyed
So I made cheaters Caprese salad this evening. Basil, tomato, mozzarella pearls, spring mix, white onion, and balsamic vinaigrette. Super easy to make and eat. It gets better the longer it rests, too, so the leftovers will be awesome tomorrow.
Continue reading “Of Pearls and Progress”