Coming back from the other side of my Bipolar Wonderland through medication, creativity, and moxie.
14,738 Days Alive
233 Hours Until Llama Arrives
60 Milligrams of Hydroxyzine Taken
Post-panic attack crash sucks.
Also, I fucking forgot to hit post on this and fell asleep with my phone in my hand. Said hand now hurts.
Take your meds, folks.
14,737 Days Alive
2 Trays of Potato Nachos Made for Dinner
1 Panic Attack
I am trying not to doom-spiral right now. I’m worried what the future will bring. I’m doing my best. I’m using the limited resources available to me. But gods is it hard.
Continue reading “Of Potatoes and Present”
14,736 Days Alive
I’m still not doing all right today. I did however make an absolutely delicious chicken Alfredo casserole with frozen ravioli. Ridiculously delicious.
I’m really struggling right now and I’m doing the best I can. All I can do is keep going. I really don’t know what else to do.
Happiest of birthdays to my darling, dear friend J. And happy Halloween to everyone else!
Take your meds, folks.
14,735 Days Alive
1 Bad Brain Day
Edit: posts work a LOT better if one remembers to hit “post”. Ugh.
I need to get a planner. I’m better at keeping track of certain aspects of my life on paper rather than digitally.
Continue reading “Of Halloween and Hot Dogs”
14,732 Days Alive
$277.14 in the Red Still
4 Episodes of Murder She Wrote Watched
2 Meetings Tomorrow
I am not doing so well today. I’m sober. I’ve taken all my meds, and even ate three meals. But I’m not okay.
Continue reading “Of Worries and Writing”
14,727 Days Alive
11 Documents to Generate for a Client
7 Days Till I Get Paid Again
5 Episodes of Blown Away Watched
Okay, so my hands are in agony right now. To the point where they were just red and cracking and hurt to even breathe on them. I got help from Lucian and Brian, thankfully.
Continue reading “Of Cracked Hands and Cash Flow”
14,726 Days Alive
4.0 GPA Still
2 Bean Burritos Eaten
1 Grateful Me
Well. Things got a little less suck-tacular today.
Continue reading “Of Hurdles and Hot Cocoa”
14,724 Days Alive
2,512 Days Since My Dad Passed Away
9 Courses Until I Finish My Degree
7 Years Gone in December
Hey, friends. This ain’t a happy entry, for the most part. No offenses taken if you skip this one.
Continue reading “Of Bereavement and Breathing”
14,723 Days Alive
$485.54 Or More Needed ASAP to Pay Bills and Get My Account into the Positive
-$269.28 in the Bank.
10 Days to Pay My Car Insurance
1 Asthma Attack Last Night
Man. I need to find an anti-evil eye hanger or something for my bedroom. Or cast another spell on the full moon on the 5th of November. Something to get out of this death roll.
Continue reading “Of Invidia and Instrumental Music”
14,722 Days Alive
1 Idiot Nazi Argued With on Social Media
Some people‘s idiocy is frankly astounding these days. I like surfing those AITA on Facebook sometimes. Some Canadian former social worker woman was being ignorant. And I asked her why. And she did not like that. 
Continue reading “Of Overdrafts and Opinions”
14,721 Days Alive
303 Job Applications Submitted Since 11 September, 2025
3 Packages of Alfredo-Style Dried Pasta Mix
1 Delicious Dinner
The hell does it say about me that after 50 milligrams of hydroxyzine, I am still peel-me-off-the-ceiling anxious?
Continue reading “Of Anxiety and Alfredo”
14,719 Days Alive
5+ Hours Spent in the Car Round Trip
2 Chicago-Style Hot Dogs Eaten
I drove down to Chicago with Lucian this morning. My brain had the structural integrity of a goddamned damp sugar cube right now.
Continue reading “Of Sport Peppers and Siblings”
14,718 Days Alive
Edit: I fucking forgot to hit post again.
I knocked out after taking pain meds for a killer headache this afternoon. Completely by accident. Spock kept me company on the couch as I rested.
Continue reading “Of Couches and Contentment”
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