Coming back from the other side of my Bipolar Wonderland through medication, creativity, and moxie.
14,794 Days Alive
2,230 Days Straight on Duolingo
5 Shelves on the Bookshelf I Built This Evening
3 Ibuprofen Taken
Welp, I had a full on panic attack today. Pretty much disassembled my room onto my bed trying to find the old smart watch that DW gave me back in 2020.
Continue reading “Of Hip Pain and Hydroxyzine”
14,793 Days Alive
3 Packs of Coca Cola Purchased for the House
3 Pound Bag of Yellow Onions Bought for $1.89
1 Trip to Goodwill with Lucian This Afternoon
Well, I found one more book for my bookshelf when Lucian and I went to Goodwill this afternoon.
Continue reading “Of Clean Up and Construction”
14,787 Days Alive
2,223 Days Straight on Duolingo
$86.47 Due for My January Health Insurance Premium
40th Winter Solstice I Have Lived
3 Hours Or Less Sleep Gotten
1 Burnt Out Self
I fell asleep after six am and was up again by ten a.m. For whatever reason, even with my anti-anxiety meds, sleep evades me.
Continue reading “Of Tiny Turtles and Turn Around Time”
14,785 Days Alive
2,221 Days Straight on Duolingo
4 Hours Spent at the Big Gay Holiday Market
1 Hug from a Stranger
Trigger warning: discussion of parental demise.
I actually fought with myself on whether or not to post this one. I’ve decided to post it, but heavily trimmed of most of the anger I originally had spewing in this.
Continue reading “Of Holiday Markets and Hugs”
14,780 Days Alive
26 Books Chosen for the 2026 Alphabet Book Challenge
2 Days Until Grandma Gator’s Birthday
1st Day of Hanukkah
I absolutely forgot that Hanukkah started this evening. I gave Grandma Gator a buzz while I was on my way to the grocery store and she reminded me that it was both the first day of Hanukkah and a few days until her birthday!
Continue reading “Of Pivoting and Plotting”
14,778 Days Alive
1 Dinner Shared with Lucian
I have never lived on my own. Ever. I’ve always lived with family, with friends, couch surfed, or stayed in encampments. I still, however , love having my own space. Maybe some time down the road I can have my tiny house ? But for now, when it’s literally scant degrees above zero, snowy, and my brain gremlins are loud, it is best that I am not alone.
Take your meds, folks.
14,773 Days Alive
2,211 Days Straight on Duolingo
150 Stitch Starting Chain For Lynne’s Blanket
2 Slices of Leftover Pizza Eaten As Breakfast This Morning
1 Minor Panic Attack Today
We had Taco Bell for dinner this evening because I was out of spoons. Tomorrow will be pork steak with garlic-wilted spinach and either noodles and Alfredo or mashed potatoes.
Continue reading “Of Delicacies and Deadlines”
14,772 Days Alive
76 Minutes Catching Up With Tina
0 Crochet Stitches Accomplished
I am… at a low point. Yeah, I know it will get better. I some of it is just too much everything all at once. Some of it is the holidays are hard for me. I know that not being able to bring myself to do much more than exists, do homework, and go to work is likely depression being a jerk. I know, I know, I know.
But I feel like I’m dying in slow motion.
Take your meds, folks.
14,771 Days Alive
400+ Ebooks Removed from My Kindle Collection
211 Approximate Hours Until the Start of Hanukkah 2025
50+ Pages of Notes Taken in Today’s Training Sessions
It was my third day at my new in-office job today. Everyone is still super awesome. They are also super loud, but when I am training, I can shut the door so I can actually hear the videos I’m supposed to watch.
Continue reading “Of Tearing Up and Time Consumption”
If I had to describe my ideal living space for myself, it would be a safe, warm, lovingly cluttered space. True hiraeth for me, honestly. Hiraeth is a Welsh omesickness for a place that doesn’t exist, or at least not yet.
Continue reading “Of Home and Hiraeth”
14,765 Days Alive
33 Years Since I Hugged Fievel Mouskewitz
10+ Inches of Snow Fell in the Past 24 Hours
3+ Happy Crying Jags Today
1/2 Serving of Baked Beef and Bean Nachos
Trigger warning past this initial paragraph: physical child abuse. This first part is happy, I swear.
Well. Today’s the day! He arrived! I am so freaking gleeful. Mr Fievel Mousekewitz is in my arms as I type this. As above, I have broken down crying, hugging said 39 year-old stuffed animal, at least three times so far today. A dear friend, named here as Lois, gifted him to me. He is 22 inches tall, still has his hat, shirt, trousers, and tail! He’s new to me, but used to belong to someone named Corey. Thank you so, so, so much for taking good care of Fievel for me to enjoy now.
Continue reading “Of Memories and Mouskewitz”
14,759 Days Alive
8 Books on Hold at the Library
0 Clue What Our Household is Doing for the Holiday This Week
I am not… doing okay today. I fell asleep after three am this morning and I wasn’t even awake late reading. Just couldn’t get the old brain to shut the fuck up.
Continue reading “Of Lemonade and Letting Go”
14,758 Days Alive
6 Cookies Given to L to Enjoy
1 Massive Tub of Popcorn
I cried. In a mostly-good way, but yeah, that movie was a fist to the emotional solar plexus.
Continue reading “Of Onions and Overnight”
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