Coming back from the other side of my Bipolar Wonderland through medication, creativity, and moxie.
14,547 Days Alive
44 Requests Completed at Work Today
2 Missed Phone Calls from Friends
I am so glad it’s the weekend. And that it’s payday. Holy shit was this week rough for me. Just… utterly dismal.
Continue reading “Of Dishes and Dairy Queen Blizzards”
14,546 Days Alive
6,876 Days Since I Stopped Drinking Alcohol
64 Minutes Spent Texting 988 Today
20 Days of this Fucking Headache
7 Days Till Spock’s 15th Birthday
1 Hour Till Payday
I’m still here. I’m suicidal but safe. No plan. Not enough energy to do anything anyway. Did therapy today. Lots of Big Emotions. But I’m still here.
Continue reading “Of Therapy and Tolerance”
14,545 Days Alive
19th Day of this Gorram Headache
5 Years Divorced as of Today
2 Hours of Sleep
1 Therapy Session Tomorrow
I was officially divorced from my ex-wife five years ago today.
Continue reading “Of Anniversaries and Anxiety Cleaning”
14,544 Days Alive
60+ Faxes Handled Today
30 Minutes Late to Work
18 Days of my Headache
10 Boneless Wings Eaten
My coworker was out sick today. Not usually a problem, but I didn’t fall asleep till after three am. Again. And then I overslept by almost an hour. So I was late to work.
Continue reading “Of Sleeping In and Sick Days”
14,543 Days Alive
2,000 Days Straight on Duolingo
1 Milky Way Bar Ordered Through DoorDash by Mac
I don’t like Snickers bars. Why does this matter? Rather than the single Milky Way bar I asked for when Mac was offering to order desert, I got two , king-sized Snickers bars. Sad day. they hurt my teeth, or at least the peanuts do.
Continue reading “Of Duolingo and Disappointment”
14,542 Days Alive
5th and Final Week of My First Class
2 Shredded Chicken Chimichangas Eaten
1 Chapter on Grief in the Healthcare Environment Read for Class
I slept through lunch today. I was so tired. I still am. But I got my reading done for the week for class. This week is about grief in the healthcare environment.
Continue reading “Of Squishes and Sandwiches”
14,541 Days Alive
Nat 19 Rolled in Pathfinder
13 Bites of Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked Ice Cream
3.5 Hours Overtime Worked Today
3 Buffalo-Sauce Dipped Chicken Tenders from Rally’s
47 Minute Nap
1 Discussion Board Post Made Today
I am utterly exhausted. I woke up at quarter to seven this morning…. Which absolutely sucks bawls because I didn’t fall asleep until well after four am this morning. Ugh.
Continue reading “Of Buffalo Sauce and Ben & Jerry’s”
14,540 Days Alive
1,998 Days Straight on Duolingo
4 Hours of Overtime Planned Tomorrow
It got up to nearly 75 degrees today. Had to turn on the AC and the oscillating fan in the bedroom.
Continue reading “Of Overtime and Oscillating Fans”
14,539 Days Alive
7: Ferritin Level
4: Iron Saturation Level
Anemia fucking sucks. I feel like my bones hurt. And the rest of my damn body. Ugh. Hopefully, the insurance company will approve my infusion soon.
Continue reading “Of Air Conditioning and Agony”
14,538 Days Alive
I called out of work today because I woke up at four am with a migraine so bad I threw up. It was wretched. I have been mainlining Imatrex, ibuprofen, and caffeine day in between trying to rest with my eyes closed.
I didn’t eat at all today until almost 10pm.
I’m going to bed.
Take your meds, folks.
14,537 Days Alive
3 of 6 Lectures Watched
1 Crying Jag
Spock kept sitting on my desk and notebook while I was trying to study this evening. And because I’m a six on the pain scale and an eight on the discomfort scale, my focus was shot today.
Continue reading “Of Cat Hair and Crying”
14,536 Days Alive
11 Days into this Stupid Headache
6 Boneless Pork Chops Made for Dinner
I’m so fucking tired. I am running on fumes mentally. I know it’ll be okay, I guess, but I’m just tired of being tired. Of the anemia. Of the headache.
Edit: posts work better when you remember to post them.
Take your meds, folks
14,535 Days Alive
Mac and I went grocery shopping at Sam’s Club this afternoon. Afterwards, we grabbed a drink and a pepperoni pizza pretzel from the little cafe thing. It was all right.
Continue reading “Of Pizza Pretzels and Pain”
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