Coming back from the other side of my Bipolar Wonderland through medication, creativity, and moxie.
14,658 Days Alive
2 Hours Spent Accidentally Napping
1 More Day Till Payday
I went home from work with a pretty bad headache today. I’m stressed because Nina is off tomorrow. My boss, Sarah, will be in-office.
Continue reading “Of Reconnecting and Rest”
14,657 Days Alive
2 Slices of Gino’s East Supreme Pizza Eaten for Dinner
1 Episode of Haunted Gingerbread Showdown Watched
Tonight was a low spoons night. We had pizza for dinner, watched an episode of the latest ridiculous seasonal baking show. And I did my initial Discussion Board posts for the week.
I am exhausted.
Take your meds, folks.
14,655 Days Alive
2,755 Posts So Far
2,513 Days Since My Bipolar Diagnosis
4 Books Picked Up at the Library
We were talking about needing a laugh so we were telling each other about our favorite Carol Burnett moments. Mine is the “famous” elephant show blooper.
Continue reading “Of Bloopers and Boxed Mac and Cheese”
14,653 Days Alive
2 Turkey Taco Rice Bowls Eaten for Dinner
1 Zero Sugar Cream Soda Enjoyed
Man, I could not get my brain to focus today. At all. Just.. shot.
I’m just going to go to bed. Try again tomorrow.
Take your meds, folks.
14,652 Days Alive
2.5 Pork Egg Rolls Eaten
1 Not-So-Fun Fact Learned Today
I want one of the blue raspberry ice cups we have in the freezer. But it’s not a good choice with it being minutes to midnight right now. So I shall refrain this time.
Continue reading “Of Italian Ice and Idiocy”Describe your life in an alternate universe.
In an alternate universe, I am gone.
I am naught but a bit of leftover ash and bone in a pretty little jar on a mantle of a strange kitchen fireplace in Altamonte Springs, Florida.
What once was my body rattles on the mantle as my nieces thunder by on the tile floors. As children are wont to do, those delightful little girls, right now just five and six years old, run like a heard of elephants through the house. As often as they can, they are shrieking in glee and doing most things at maximum volume.
Since human cremains are so high in salt, phosphate, and calcium, while also having a high pH, maybe I’ve been diluted and mixed into the enriched soil beneath the blueberry bushes I convinced my brother to purchase that one trip to Home Depot we took years ago.
In any case, I have shuffled off this mortal coil in this other world. Maybe I have been reborn as a chubby and beloved kitten or a feisty little foal with mischief in my heart. I am gone, but not forgotten. Dead, but not lost to memory, yet.
In another universe, I am but ash in a jar on the mantle of a fireplace.
14,650 Days Alive
533 Words Written for This Week’s Discussion Board Post
2 Slices of Pizza for Dinner
1 Ridiculous and Amazing Goodwill Purchase
Well. Today was an absolute shitshow. Just… didn’t sleep well, forgot to post last night’s blog entry before passing out reading, really rough day at work…
Continue reading “Of Opinions and Options”
14,649 Days Alive
3 Wendy’s Sandwiches Picked Up for Dinner
2 New Supplements I’m Supposed to Start Taking
1 Unhappy Hip
I had my bloodwork follow up with my primary care physician today. The basic breakdown is that, to no one’s shock at all, I am still iron-deficient anemic. Also, my Vitamin D is super low. Not like, rickets low, but pretty damn bad.
Continue reading “Of Doctor’s Appointments and Drive Through Dinners”
14,647 Days Alive
4th Week of Class in the Books
1 Grocery Order Picked Up from the Store
Today was a hard day, both physically and mentally. I am burnt out and my body is just hurting. The left hip bursitis sucks. Finding comfortable ways to sit or stand or just exist is difficult.
Continue reading “Of Peculiar Noises and Pickup”
14,646 Days Alive
$10.00 Burger, Fries, and Pie Meal at Perkins
1 Cup Iced Vietnamese Coffee Enjoyed
I met a new friend today! Their name is Jazmine and they’re a local, queer writer. We met off BumbleBFF. I kind of refuse to just languish in an island of social isolation here.
Continue reading “Of Bursitis and Burgers”
14,645 Days Alive
7 Tacos Purchased for Dinner
12 Hours Until I Go to Meet a New Friend
2 Bookcases Purchased
I have both therapy (8a.m) and a new friend meetup at a local coffee shop (noon) tomorrow! I am very excited about the latter and cautiously optimistic about the former.
Continue reading “Of Taco Meat and Tomorrow Morning”
14,643 Days Alive
70+ Requests Scanned into the System Today
13 Spam Fries Eaten
2 Garlic Brick Grilled Cheese Sandwiches Eaten
When we went to Ehlenbach’s Cheese Chalet about a week and a half ago, we picked up a few cheeses, including this delicious garlic cheese. We had an interesting, low spoons dinner this evening.
Continue reading “Of Overwhelming Workload and Oven-Baked Fries”Was today typical?
Was today typical? Decidedly not.
Our main printer broke and our secondary one kept jamming. It was a rough two and a half to three hours of stress and hurry up just to wait some more. I usually love my desk, because it’s a standing desk that I have a tall chair for in case I need to sit. But today I was up and down trying to help them get either printer working before the repair technician showed up.
I was already struggling with my pain levels before I did the deck chair Hokey Pokey. Now, my pain levels are through the fucking roof. I threw up both breakfast and lunch today. I legitimately thought I was going to pass out at one point, because I had to take a bunch of deep breaths. I just sat the fuck down in the middle of the hallway near the bathrooms because I was just… out of it. My ears were ringing, my vision went spotty, and I thought I was going to throw up again. It wasn’t a headaches my butt would have gone to the ER. But it was like my usual full ache was dialed up to eleven.
Between this fibromyalgia flare up, the left hip bursitis, my white blood cell count being up to 10.4 K/ul (down from 12.67 in February where fuck if anyone knew why it was that high), my PCOS giving me double trouble for the last three months in a row, and my anemia kicking my ass it’s a wonder I can get out of bed.
I’m so tired of being in pain. I’m so weary. Hopefully my new treatment team will be of better help to me than my previous one.
Goodness knows I have a better, if still small, support system right now.
Take your meds, folks.
Postmark Wonderland 