Of Untimely Demises and Unbearable Weight

August 26, 2026August 27, 2026 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

15,034 Days Alive

138 Miles to Drive from Work to the Parliament of Chaos

9 Tim Burton Comfort Films Watched in the Last Month

4 Specific Movies to Watch Planned (9 to 5, Clue, Steel Magnolias, and Muppet Treasure Island)

2 Days Until I Travel to the Parliament of Chaos Again

1 Crying Fit at 5am…Again

Life sure is life-ing again. It’s been a month since my last entry. I was trying to get back into the daily habit of blogging but seem to have, at least temporarily, failed.

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Of Passing and Packing

July 25, 2026 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

15,002 Days Alive

313 Miles Travelled Today

2 Chicago-Style Hot Dogs Eaten

Trigger warnings: loss of pet, grief, depression

I miss my Spock. He passed away, in my arms, on the 16th of June. Five weeks and I am still devastated. He was 16 and will be greatly, greatly missed.

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Of Brute Strength and Blessings

June 13, 2026 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,960 Days Alive

1,085 Days Since My Mother’s Death

I am down in Illinois visiting my girlfriend Owl and I realized that I genuinely feel like she is a supportive partner, not a child masquerading as an adult. It’s a rather glorious realization.

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Of Demolition and Determination

June 12, 2026 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,959 Days Alive

144 Miles to Drive Tomorrow Morning

13 Homework Assignments Done Tonight

3 Mild Italian Sausage Meatballs Eaten with Dinner

Tomorrow morning at bright o’clock, which here translates to approximately eight a.m., I will be trundling down the road for two plus hours to go see Owl and her parliament of chaos.

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Of Audiobooks and Anxiety

April 4, 2026 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,891 Days Alive

152 Miles Driven Today to Meet Up With Uncle Comic

49 Words Per Minute Typed Going Moderately Slow

12.5 Hours Till the 221B Weekly Write In!

1 Accidental Nap

My jaw is doing the thing where it keeps randomly clenching bilaterally. I assume it’s because of anxiety, because solo trips, more than about 45 minutes have a tendency to make me anxious.

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Of Changed Plans and Challenges

April 3, 2026April 4, 2026 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,890 Days Alive

11 Hours Til I Meet Up With Uncle Comic

We got out of work early today since it is Good Friday. I haven’t ever really been in a family that religiously observed Easter, so I’m not quite sure what I should expect when I am traveling tomorrow morning.

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Of Mount Clean Clothes and a Manic Upswing

January 10, 2026March 16, 2026 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,807 Days Alive

1 Closet in Desperate Need of a Clean Up

The photo you see is me taking a step back, looking at the monster hellscape that has become my closet, and nearly crying.

I’m going to tackle it today. Pray for me.

And take your meds, folks!

Of Starlight and Stretching

January 3, 2026 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,800 Days Alive

2,236 Days Straight on Duolingo

It’s a super moon today, the first full moon of 2026. There is also some kind of meteor shower thing that I haven’t bothered to go outside and look at. I’m so, so tired of being in discomfort, and pain, and unable to focus. I am doing my best to keep going. I’m doing yoga as often as I am physically capable of doing so. Sleep is elusive due to pain and discomfort; I fell asleep after 4 AM this morning and I assume that Sunday will be more of the same.

Take your meds, folks

Of Trims and Tacos

January 2, 2026 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,799 Days Alive

I have not had the best start to the new year. We aren’t even three days into 2026 and I’m already feeling emotionally concussed, mentally exhausted, and physically over-wrung. The haircut I tried to get it was completely unsatisfactory. The drive home even worse. It’ll get better, right?

Take your meds, folks.

Of Hip Pain and Hydroxyzine

December 28, 2025 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,794 Days Alive

2,230 Days Straight on Duolingo

5 Shelves on the Bookshelf I Built This Evening

3 Ibuprofen Taken

Welp, I had a full on panic attack today. Pretty much disassembled my room onto my bed trying to find the old smart watch that DW gave me back in 2020.

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Of Clean Up and Construction

December 27, 2025January 8, 2026 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,793 Days Alive

3 Packs of Coca Cola Purchased for the House

3 Pound Bag of Yellow Onions Bought for $1.89

1 Trip to Goodwill with Lucian This Afternoon

Well, I found one more book for my bookshelf when Lucian and I went to Goodwill this afternoon.

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Of Tiny Turtles and Turn Around Time

December 21, 2025December 24, 2025 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,787 Days Alive

2,223 Days Straight on Duolingo

$86.47 Due for My January Health Insurance Premium

40th Winter Solstice I Have Lived

3 Hours Or Less Sleep Gotten

1 Burnt Out Self

I fell asleep after six am and was up again by ten a.m. For whatever reason, even with my anti-anxiety meds, sleep evades me.

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Of Holiday Markets and Hugs

December 19, 2025December 22, 2025 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,785 Days Alive

2,221 Days Straight on Duolingo

4 Hours Spent at the Big Gay Holiday Market

1 Hug from a Stranger

Trigger warning: discussion of parental demise.

I actually fought with myself on whether or not to post this one. I’ve decided to post it, but heavily trimmed of most of the anger I originally had spewing in this.

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