Category: Depressed

Of TheraIce Masks and Thorough Exhaustion

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,803 Days Alive

56 Days Until I’ve Been Alive for 15,000 Days

0 Books Chosen for the 13 Moons Reading Challenge

Well, I know this is going to be late to post because I am currently hiding in a dark room with the “ice hat” on. (Edit: called it! I slept till 1030 Wednesday morning.) I also call the thing our “hawk hat”. Whatever you call it, it is helping. Between the TheraIce frozen hat thingie, my usual cocktail of migraine meds, a full-sugar Coca-Cola (for the first time I don’t even know how long), a zero-sugar Gatorade, and a bit of drive-thru food, I hope I can get over this quickly.

I had to leave work early because of my stupid, pain-riddled body. Ugh. Just the lovely, ever-continuing adventures of the malfunctioning meatbag, I guess. I’m going to try and get some rest after I drink more water.

Take your meds, folks.

Of Starlight and Stretching

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,800 Days Alive

2,236 Days Straight on Duolingo

It’s a super moon today, the first full moon of 2026. There is also some kind of meteor shower thing that I haven’t bothered to go outside and look at. I’m so, so tired of being in discomfort, and pain, and unable to focus. I am doing my best to keep going. I’m doing yoga as often as I am physically capable of doing so. Sleep is elusive due to pain and discomfort; I fell asleep after 4 AM this morning and I assume that Sunday will be more of the same.

Take your meds, folks

Of Trims and Tacos

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,799 Days Alive

I have not had the best start to the new year. We aren’t even three days into 2026 and I’m already feeling emotionally concussed, mentally exhausted, and physically over-wrung. The haircut I tried to get it was completely unsatisfactory. The drive home even worse. It’ll get better, right?

Take your meds, folks.

Of Deep Breaths and Double Hot Cocoa

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,789 Days Alive

2 Packets of Hot Cocoa Powder Accidentally Added to My Cup

My new job does the full-timers well around the holidays. And Rose, rockstar that she is, set up a hot cocoa bar in the break room! Super cool. Of course, I got distracted listening to someone talk about books and accidentally added two packets of hot cocoa to one cup. A delicious mistake, but I kinda felt bad.

Continue reading “Of Deep Breaths and Double Hot Cocoa” →

Of Cotija Cheese and Chuckles

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,788 Days Alive

2,222 Days Straight on Duolingo

2 Massive Trays of Chicken Nachos Made for Dinner

Well, I finished today kind of late, but at least I finished. I am still struggling emotionally with the holidays and everything else going on right now. And that stuff going on in my life, the lives of my loved ones, and the general world on fire thing we’re all dealing with right now.

Continue reading “Of Cotija Cheese and Chuckles” →

Of Snowfall and Spring Rolls

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,778 Days Alive

1 Dinner Shared with Lucian

I have never lived on my own. Ever. I’ve always lived with family, with friends, couch surfed, or stayed in encampments. I still, however , love having my own space. Maybe some time down the road I can have my tiny house ? But for now, when it’s literally scant degrees above zero, snowy, and my brain gremlins are loud, it is best that I am not alone.

Take your meds, folks.

Of Ranch Cups and Rest Needed

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,775 Days Alive

13 Whoppers is a Serving

4 of Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Nuggets Enjoyed with Dinner

3-ish Hours of Sleep Last Night

1 Row Crocheted on Lynne’s Blanket

$0.53 Cents Paid for an Extra Cup of Ranch Nugget Sauce For Lucian

Holy crap, am I so glad I work from home tomorrow! Sleet, cold weather, icy roads, and a damned headache I’ve been nursing since noon. Ugh.

Continue reading “Of Ranch Cups and Rest Needed” →

Of Attempts and Abapical

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,772 Days Alive

76 Minutes Catching Up With Tina

0 Crochet Stitches Accomplished

I am… at a low point. Yeah, I know it will get better. I some of it is just too much everything all at once. Some of it is the holidays are hard for me. I know that not being able to bring myself to do much more than exists, do homework, and go to work is likely depression being a jerk. I know, I know, I know.

But I feel like I’m dying in slow motion.

Take your meds, folks.