I did not one, not two, not even just three, but four things today after work! I left work early for a pre-planned appointment and got home maybe 45 minutes earlier than I usually do.
Lucian and I spent a good two and a half hours this evening going through the massive amount of acrylic yarn that I have acquired over the years. I’m talking stuff from before my marriage to Stephanie in 2017.
Today was a day from hell. Not my story to tell, but suffice it to say Excedrin, caffeine, and sheer adaptability in the face of stress served me well today.
I actually felt the need to consult the Feelings Wheel my prior therapist sent me for this one. I wasn’t sure if curiosity was an option?
While i’m not sure if it’s because I am not by stretch of anyone’s imagination neurotypical, if it’s because I have too much emotional trauma from over the years, or I just keep failing to grasp the differences between the multitudes of emotional states a person can have, I struggle a lot with emotions. Particularly, with identifying what emotion I am feeling. I struggle with expressing and acknowledging negative emotions. for the most part.
However, if I had to pick a positive emotion that I feel the most often it would be curiosity. 
2 Slices of Gino’s East Supreme Pizza Eaten for Dinner
1 Episode of Haunted Gingerbread Showdown Watched
Tonight was a low spoons night. We had pizza for dinner, watched an episode of the latest ridiculous seasonal baking show. And I did my initial Discussion Board posts for the week.
We were talking about needing a laugh so we were telling each other about our favorite Carol Burnett moments. Mine is the “famous” elephant show blooper.
I want one of the blue raspberry ice cups we have in the freezer. But it’s not a good choice with it being minutes to midnight right now. So I shall refrain this time.
I am naught but a bit of leftover ash and bone in a pretty little jar on a mantle of a strange kitchen fireplace in Altamonte Springs, Florida.
What once was my body rattles on the mantle as my nieces thunder by on the tile floors. As children are wont to do, those delightful little girls, right now just five and six years old, run like a heard of elephants through the house. As often as they can, they are shrieking in glee and doing most things at maximum volume.
Since human cremains are so high in salt, phosphate, and calcium, while also having a high pH, maybe I’ve been diluted and mixed into the enriched soil beneath the blueberry bushes I convinced my brother to purchase that one trip to Home Depot we took years ago.
In any case, I have shuffled off this mortal coil in this other world. Maybe I have been reborn as a chubby and beloved kitten or a feisty little foal with mischief in my heart. I am gone, but not forgotten. Dead, but not lost to memory, yet.
In another universe, I am but ash in a jar on the mantle of a fireplace.