Awake in the Gloaming

Days alive: 12,167

Hours slept: 5.5

Woke up at: 0430

Days till NaNoWriMo: 11 and counting

I apparently accidentally set an alarm for 4:30 in the morning. And then realized my dreams of my alarm going off at three and four am were likely happening. But I was in the middle of a flashback driven nightmare, so going back to sleep wasn’t an option. As such, I’ve been up since.

Continue reading “Awake in the Gloaming”

Crocheting, Crying, Creeps, and Coffee

Days alive: 12,158.2

Weird Starbucks monstrosity had: 1

Mistakes made: many

Creepy ex’s dealt with: 1

Hours slept: about 4.5

I can’t sleep. It’s three in the morning and I’ve been awake for about an hour. And sleeping fitfully before that. Today, yesterday I mean, just wasn’t a great day. It wasn’t dead in the family terrible, but it was pretty difficult.

Continue reading “Crocheting, Crying, Creeps, and Coffee”

Insomnia Interlude 3

Days alive: 12,156.01

Headaches: 1

Hours slept: 3.5

Alarm goes off: 6:25am

I was really hoping for a good nights sleep. But alas, a headache.

Hopefully I can get back to sleep here shortly. The cats are being exceedingly cuddly right now. So that does help a bit.

I would read, but my eyes hurt from this damn headache.

Oh well.

At least I got to have some goofy adventures with J today. Never underestimate the power of faffing off at Target for a bit.

Insomnia Interlude 2

Days alive: 12,149.5

Hours awake: 45 and change.

I was hoping to sleep well tonight. Not so, I guess. New med still screwing with my sleep schedule. Maybe I’ll get some rest tomorrow night.

It was a chill, restful evening after a stomach churning levels of stressful day at work. I’m hoping things will get better soon. I keep wildly vacillating between braking into tears and being so bloody manic/upbeat/cheerful I want to strangle myself just to save everyone else from it.

In other news, I found this gorgeous feather outside of work today. I don’t know diddly squat about birds, so I haven’t the foggiest what it could belong to other than “bird”.

Anyway. I’m going to try to sleep at least a little. Or just stare at the inside of my eyelids until my alarm goes off.

Insomnia Interlude 1

Days alive: 12,148.8

Hours awake: 22 hours, 17 minutes.

Not mine; just pretty.

As I was born in the wee hours of the morning, it hasn’t quite yet been another full day, I suppose.

I can’t sleep.

Not that much a shock, as I’m still adjusting to the new meds. I even spoke to the cute pharmacist today, to see his opinion on adjusting the timing. He agreed that taking it at the morning was likely best for me with how I’ve been reacting to it.

I think the worst part is the fear that’s is another manic episode. Because I’m running on scant hours of sleep and yet I’m not all that tired. I wake up obnoxiously awake, as my coworker enjoyed telling me today. I was too cheerful for Monday.

Meanwhile, my mind is literally screaming incoherently for hours on end and no amount of anti-anxiety meds seem to be of assistance. I can’t focus to save my life and all I want is a good night’s sleep and to be able to focus. Neither seems possible right now. But I have my follow up on the tenth and I’ll make it till then. It’s not like I’ve not gone a fortnight on seven hours of sleep before.