Sleepless Saturday/Sunday Night

12,294 Days Alive

6,569 Books to Read

82 Days Since Daddy Died

5 Episodes, So Far, of Marie Kondo

2 Pairs of Glasses Worn Today

1 Round Trip to Savannah, Georgia

Today was such an interesting day. We drove up with Tink to Savannah to help her get her car. And now I’m sleepless.

It was a fun trip. About five hours each way and a long break for lunch while we were in Georgia.

Not pictured is the giant peach lobsterita that Tink and Steph split while we were at lunch.

I crocheted most of the trip. Either that or dozed a little bit. As always, I snapped a few photos of the drive. I had a little fun with the glasses I was wearing as well.

While my Darling Wife, who drove almost twelve hours today alone, is starfished out on the bed, I volunteered to sleep in the marshmallow in the living room.

But I’m sad. Still hollow and exhausted.

So I put on Tiding Up with Marie Kondo. I’ve been meaning to watch it and I have time. I watched the first three episodes with no issue, save for the desire to try her methods of letting go of material crap.

I mean, I’m genuinely happy to let go of things these days. When we moved to Villa Vanyar I got rid of so, so many books. And random crap. But there’s still things I have that I don’t need.

But then the fourth episode hit. “Sparking Joy After a Loss”. Maybe it’s because it hasn’t even been three months since Daddy died. Maybe it’s because I still haven’t fully processed, grieved, whatever. The widow described that her husband was so large in presence, large of life. I feel sad for Tink as well as the sorrow for myself.

I also feel remarkably envious of the people that have all of these boxes and boxes of photos that show the passage of time. Of their younger years and time spent together. I despise how many photos have been lost over the years. I hate it. There are so few left.

I’m literally crying from this. Crying about photos. I’m not tired, physically, but mentally and emotionally.

Tomorrow will be spent cleaning. Maybe I’ll try going through my clothes as stage one? I’ve put her book on hold via the digital library system and hope to read it soon. So I guess that adds up to 209 Books for 2019.

Whoops.

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