Y’all know that phrase that people regurgitate when things go wrong? It doesn’t seem to matter if it’s a stubbed toe, burned dinner, missed bus, or catastrophic accident. People spit out the “well, everything happens for a reason!” Usually with a well-meaning, gentle smile.

It makes me want to throw things.

Technically, everything does happen for a reason, in the literal sense. That reason is that people make choices of all kinds with or without thought to the potential consequences to themselves or others.

Choice: some guy drove home with a blood alcohol of legally dead. Resulting consequences: my grandmother died and he got a scant eleven years in prison.

Choice: my abusers hurt me. Consequences: I have complex post-traumatic stress disorder and a hatred of bodily fluids.

Choice: I chose to make the best choice for myself and leave Indiana. Consequence: I now live in Wisconsin and am happier than I have maybe ever been.

Everything doesn’t always have a reason beyond chance. Nothing is for certain. But that doesn’t mean that we avoid trying to make better choices when presented the opportunity.

I wish I learned that “everything happens for a reason” is simply someone usually trying to express “I’m sorry this is happening to you, I don’t know why, or how to necessarily help, but I care”.

Honestly? Either better economic systems that are NOT capitalism or actual facts, figures, and statistics on the homeless of America.