Author: Theodora Vanyar

Writer. Artist. Laughter addict. Queer, Jew-ish, witchy, anxiety riddled, dealing with #BipolarDisorder, and fat. Oxford Comma FOREVER! All else is icing.

Prompt Answer: An AU of My Life

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

Describe your life in an alternate universe.

In an alternate universe, I am gone.

I am naught but a bit of leftover ash and bone in a pretty little jar on a mantle of a strange kitchen fireplace in Altamonte Springs, Florida.

What once was my body rattles on the mantle as my nieces thunder by on the tile floors. As children are wont to do, those delightful little girls, right now just five and six years old, run like a heard of elephants through the house. As often as they can, they are shrieking in glee and doing most things at maximum volume.

Since human cremains are so high in salt, phosphate, and calcium, while also having a high pH, maybe I’ve been diluted and mixed into the enriched soil beneath the blueberry bushes I convinced my brother to purchase that one trip to Home Depot we took years ago.

In any case, I have shuffled off this mortal coil in this other world. Maybe I have been reborn as a chubby and beloved kitten or a feisty little foal with mischief in my heart. I am gone, but not forgotten. Dead, but not lost to memory, yet.

In another universe, I am but ash in a jar on the mantle of a fireplace.

Of Doctor’s Appointments and Drive Through Dinners

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,649 Days Alive

3 Wendy’s Sandwiches Picked Up for Dinner

2 New Supplements I’m Supposed to Start Taking

1 Unhappy Hip

I had my bloodwork follow up with my primary care physician today. The basic breakdown is that, to no one’s shock at all, I am still iron-deficient anemic. Also, my Vitamin D is super low. Not like, rickets low, but pretty damn bad.

Continue reading “Of Doctor’s Appointments and Drive Through Dinners” →

Prompt Answer: Future Travel Plans

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What are your future travel plans?

Well, they have changed since last I answered this question. Now that I’m living in Wisconsin, travelling to Illinois to see the mess of siblings and other assorted, vaguely related people that I hold dear is in the list.

Mitsuwa Market in Arlington Heights, Illinois and Chicago’s Chinatown are also on the travel list.

I’d love to finally be able to coordinate that trip with Reffie, maybe eventually visit Uncle Gator and family after they get settled in their new place. Oh! And go to Salem, Massachusetts! Not during October, because fuck that many people around. But maybe late fall/early spring?

I’d love to go to the ridiculous and apparently delicious all-you-can-eat themed dinner theater thing called Sneaky Pete’s Wild West Dinner Show. It has been added to the household bucket list.

I also would love to get out of the USA at some point soon. Probably not to leave-leave? Hit definitely get somewhere a little less hellscape.

Prompt Answer: Typical?

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Was today typical?

Was today typical? Decidedly not.

Our main printer broke and our secondary one kept jamming. It was a rough two and a half to three hours of stress and hurry up just to wait some more. I usually love my desk, because it’s a standing desk that I have a tall chair for in case I need to sit. But today I was up and down trying to help them get either printer working before the repair technician showed up.

I was already struggling with my pain levels before I did the deck chair Hokey Pokey. Now, my pain levels are through the fucking roof. I threw up both breakfast and lunch today. I legitimately thought I was going to pass out at one point, because I had to take a bunch of deep breaths. I just sat the fuck down in the middle of the hallway near the bathrooms because I was just… out of it. My ears were ringing, my vision went spotty, and I thought I was going to throw up again. It wasn’t a headaches my butt would have gone to the ER. But it was like my usual full ache was dialed up to eleven.

Between this fibromyalgia flare up, the left hip bursitis, my white blood cell count being up to 10.4 K/ul (down from 12.67 in February where fuck if anyone knew why it was that high), my PCOS giving me double trouble for the last three months in a row, and my anemia kicking my ass it’s a wonder I can get out of bed.

I’m so tired of being in pain. I’m so weary. Hopefully my new treatment team will be of better help to me than my previous one.

Goodness knows I have a better, if still small, support system right now.

Take your meds, folks.