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Postmark Wonderland

Postmark Wonderland

Coming back from the other side of my Bipolar Wonderland through medication, creativity, and moxie.

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Category: CPTSD

Of Tea and Taxes

March 16, 2021 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

13,045 Days Alive

I finally was able to file my taxes today. I went with a different H&R Block than my ex wife and I used, and it’s been nothing but trouble.

Continue reading “Of Tea and Taxes” →

Of Practical Magic and Picnic Tables

March 14, 2021 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

13,042 Days Alive

3 Butter Tarts Eaten

1 Old Favorite Shared with Fen

Somehow, despite knowing me for almost a decade, Fen had never seen the movie Practical Magic. Until tonight! We watched it and they really enjoyed it.

Continue reading “Of Practical Magic and Picnic Tables” →

Of Butterscotch and Balancing Acts

March 13, 2021 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

13,041 Days Alive

I started my new sleeping medication tonight. Gods knows I’ll just continue to put it off if I don’t. I’m not sure yet the side effects, but I’m anxious and exhausted. Even with having taken a nap today.

Continue reading “Of Butterscotch and Balancing Acts” →

Of Manzanas and Murder

March 10, 2021 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

13,038 Days Alive

560 Day Streak on Duolingo

I’d metaphorically kill for a good Granny Smith Apple and some caramel or peanut butter. Or some grapes and cheese. Just… charcuterie fixing in general seem to be the craving. That and murder shows.

Continue reading “Of Manzanas and Murder” →

Of Mondays and Mileage

March 8, 2021 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

13,036 Days Alive

195 Miles Driven Today

6 Hours of my Life I’ll Never Get Back

4 Hours Alone in the Car

2 Hours of Testing

1 Bowl of Curry for Dinner

Had the ADHD testing done today in Maitland. 97 miles away. Ugh. Dr Fyffe didn’t even bother to meet me, which kind of pissed me off. I got assistant Joy who was nice enough, in an unflavored oatmeal kind of way.

Continue reading “Of Mondays and Mileage” →

Of Tears and Tacos

March 3, 2021March 3, 2021 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

13,031 Days Alive

I had my meds doctor appointment today. I was honest about how much I’m struggling and how suicidal I am.

Continue reading “Of Tears and Tacos” →

Of Shopping and Synonyms

February 28, 2021 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

13,028 Days Alive

1,842 Steps Walked Today

2 Packs of Mushrooms Bought for Under $3.00

1 Final Chimichanga Eaten

So. The synonym of the day is “lifestyle change” rather than dieting. Because dieting has very negative connections in my mind and I take it to extreme and dangerous lengths. So instead, I’m making a lifestyle change.

Continue reading “Of Shopping and Synonyms” →

Of Appointments and Apathy

February 22, 2021 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

13,022 Days Alive

Fair warning: heavy topics hereafter: it has been brought to my attention that being actively suicidal means my meds aren’t working. I thought it was something wrong with me. I’m not unhappy, per se, at least not more than usual. I mean, I’ve even had some good days recently.

Continue reading “Of Appointments and Apathy” →

Of Pearls and Progress

February 21, 2021 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

13,021 Days Alive

1 Cup of Chai Enjoyed

So I made cheaters Caprese salad this evening. Basil, tomato, mozzarella pearls, spring mix, white onion, and balsamic vinaigrette. Super easy to make and eat. It gets better the longer it rests, too, so the leftovers will be awesome tomorrow.

Continue reading “Of Pearls and Progress” →

Of Nausea and Nachos

February 18, 2021 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

13,018 Days Alive

3 Days of Migraine

1 Nauseous Me

I left work early today. I didn’t throw up in the trash can at work again, but it was a near thing. I did end up pain-puking when I got home and knocked out after a second dose of imatrex for almost three hours today.

Continue reading “Of Nausea and Nachos” →

Of Groceries and Going Forward

February 16, 2021 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

13,016 Days Alive

5 Jalapeño Poppers Eaten

2 Grocery Stores Visited

1 Slightly Exhausted Me

There are times where I feel if I stop moving, if I slow down, if I freeze up, I’ll keel over. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s a form of mania? I’m honestly not sure. Whatever it is, it’s exhausting. Utterly taxing.

Continue reading “Of Groceries and Going Forward” →

Of Brownouts and Blankets

February 15, 2021 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

13,015 Days Alive

1 Hour Without Power at Work

Today was fantastically frustrating. We lost power just after lunch today. Not for too long, but long enough to be annoying and to throw off my whole day.

Continue reading “Of Brownouts and Blankets” →

Of The Princess Bride and Power Outages

February 14, 2021 ~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

13,014 Days Alive

21 Motifs to Finish

2 Lovey-Dovey Movies

1.5 Hours Without Power

1 Still Under the Weather Kitty

So the power knocked out for about two hours or so earlier today. We were watching The Princess Bride when the power went out. Fen and I opened up the house and did some cleaning while the power was out.

Continue reading “Of The Princess Bride and Power Outages” →

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