Review: The Witch and the Warlock

By Elisa Covey

Read as part of the Diversify Your Reading Challenge.

Available on: Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Overview:

Blurb:
Xavier Alexandros decides to solve all of his problems by trying to magically enslave the first chick who has ever withstood his magical masculine draw or something. There’s fake dating, a murderous piece of jewelry, and mild regret for having actually read this to the end. Did someone write and publish Twilight fanfiction? Because this is full of emotional abuse and manipulation. And? It’s full of UST that doesn’t get beyond a kiss. The author can write. And she can write well. I just want better characters from them.

Trigger Warnings:

Badly Written Women, Bastardization of Culture, Bastardization of Mythology, Blood, Bullying, Child Abuse, Death, Embezzlement, Emotional Abuse, Food, Plot Holes the Size of a Canadian Province, Poor Coping Mechanisms, Purple Prose, Slavery (Magical) Slavery, Theft, Toxic Masculinity, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unsafe Lifestyle

Body Count: 1, natural death

The Specs:

  • Genre
    • Technical Genre: Paranormal Witches & Wizards Romance, Fantasy & Futuristic Romance
    • Theo Genre: Paranormal Fluff, Witchy Romance
  • Page count: 182 pages/7571 KB
  • POV:Limited 3rd
  • Publication information:
    • Publisher: Amazon Digital Services
    • Language:  English
    • ASIN: B06X9YQYPL

Other Fun Stuff:

To Read or Not To Read (Again):

Furniture Support

Rating out of five: 1.5 out of 5

Representation, Morality, and Sexism Tests:

  • Bechdel–Wallace Test
    • Purpose: to establish actual female characters that act independently of male characters in a story.
      • Do two female characters talk about something other than a male character? No
    • Pass or Fail: Fail
  • DuVernay Test:
    • Purpose: to establish characters of color in a story.
      • Are there fully actualized characters of color? No
    • Pass or Fail: Fail
  • Ellen Willis Test:
    • Purpose: to show balance in characters regardless of gender.
      • Would two related characters still work to carry the story if their genders were reversed? Yes
    • Pass or Fail: Pass
  • Hays Code Test:
    • Purpose: to ignore outdated and queer-degrading/punishing standards that once were the standard for produced mass media.
    • Part One: outdated moral guidelines
      • Are there any outdated “moral content” rules gloriously kicked in the teeth by this story? Yes
      • Are there people of color allowed a happy ending? No
      • Is there an interracial couple? No
      • Is there profanity used at all? No
      • Is there one or more homicidal acts and/or murder? No
    • Part Two: queer representation
      • Are there queer characters that get a happy ending? Yes
      • Is there an illegal or otherwise distasteful age gap between characters, queer or otherwise? No
      • Do the queer characters die tragically, violently, or at all? No
    • Pass or Fail: Pass, barely
  • Mako Mori Test:
    • Purpose: to assure that in the story there is at least one female character independent of a male character’s story.
      • Is there a female character? Yes
      • Does she get her own arc? No
      • Does it do anything other than serve to support a man’s story? No and I’m mad about it
    • Pass or Fail: Fail
  • Sexy Lamp Test:
    • Purpose: to assure that a female character in the story serves as an active protagonist, not just a device to be used by the male main character.
      • Would the plot fall apart if the female character was replaced by a sexy looking lamp? No
    • Post-It Note Caveat:
      • Would the character be able to be replaced by a Sexy Lamp with a sticky note on it for information conveyance? Yes
    • Pass or Fail: Fail
  • Tauriel Test:
    • Purpose: to help support the existence of competent, independent female characters regardless of a romantic sub-plot.
      • Is there at least one woman in the story? Yes
      • Is this woman competent in her chosen occupation and not immediately shown up by a newcomer male character? No
      • If she has or develops a love interest during the story, either implied or explicitly stated, does she suddenly abandon her job and/or chosen path to support or pursue said love interest?  Yes
    • Pass or Fail: Fail
  • Vito Russo Test:
    • Purpose: to establish more characters that are on the SAGA (Sexuality And Gender Acceptance), QTPOC (Queer and Trans People of Color) or LGBTQIAP+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual/Biromantic/Bigender, Transgender, Queer/Genderqueer, Intersex, Asexual/Aromantic/Agender, Pansexual/Panromantic, and others not listed here) spectrum.
      • Is there a character on the queer spectrum? Yes
      • Are they a character beyond their orientation? Yes
      • Do they actually affect the plot? Yes
      • Is the character something beyond a punchline? Yes
    • Pass or Fail: Pass!

Overall review:

Thoughts: I really wanted to like this. I really did. But it was just too far over the creepy stalker emotionally abusive dude line for me to be comfortable with it. The author can write a fake dating/Beauty and the Beast style story really damn well. But their characterization needs some massive overhauling.

Smutty moments/smut review: There was none! 😦

Was it engaging?

At times

Favorite Character: Jenna, I guess.

Review format updated 5 March 2019

One thought on “Review: The Witch and the Warlock

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