Tag: Trigger Warning

Of Memories and Mouskewitz

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

14,765 Days Alive

33 Years Since I Hugged Fievel Mouskewitz

10+ Inches of Snow Fell in the Past 24 Hours

3+ Happy Crying Jags Today

1/2 Serving of Baked Beef and Bean Nachos

Trigger warning past this initial paragraph: physical child abuse. This first part is happy, I swear.

Well. Today’s the day! He arrived! I am so freaking gleeful. Mr Fievel Mousekewitz is in my arms as I type this. As above, I have broken down crying, hugging said 39 year-old stuffed animal, at least three times so far today. A dear friend, named here as Lois, gifted him to me. He is 22 inches tall, still has his hat, shirt, trousers, and tail! He’s new to me, but used to belong to someone named Corey. Thank you so, so, so much for taking good care of Fievel for me to enjoy now.

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Prompt Answer: First Thing That Comes To Mind

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.

I’m not always glad I am still here. I know it’s probably the brain gremlins talking. I know it. But I am not always glad for the continued struggle, despite the successes I’ve had.

I have my GED. A place to live. A really, really good job. And I have my cat, partner, and a small group of local friends.

I just have to keep going. But fucking hell is it exhausting.

Self-Love Journal Prompt: Day 16

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

All right, another tricky one. This one is dark and delves deep into some of my issues. So, be forewarned.

Quick recap: for me, May of 2020 is all about self-love. I’m trying to be kinder and embrace a more self-focused positive attitude. Each day, I’ll be working from one of the prompts from Tia Harding’s 32 Self-Love Journal Prompts or from The Petite Planner’s 30 Days of Self-Love.

Here’s today’s prompt: “What areas of life do you need help with?“

Trigger warning: discussion of rape/sexual abuse, physical abuse, eating disorder, and alcoholism.

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Sleep, Shopping, and Some Spirits!

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

12,215 Days Alive

6,754 Books To Read

14 Days Until I Meet Baby Bubble

4 Books I Need to Remember to Review

3 Frog and Restart Sessions

1 Entire Digorno Pizza Consumed

I officially said my final fair well to carbohydrate consumption in great amounts today. I start the ketogenic diet fully in the morning. Why?

Because I know I can do it. I want to do it. And for fuck’s sake, I am tired of being fat.

***Trigger warning for content: I am going to discuss my being a rape survivor in this entry.***

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Still Here on a Monday

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

12,302 Days Alive

6,602 Books to Read

16 Days Till My Psych Appointment

9 Days Since I Last Slept Through the Night

3 Bars of Royalty Soap Bars That I Want (But can’t justify literally $30 for three bars of soap when I am this broke)

1 Living Room Vacuumed

1/2 Basket of Clothing Put Away

I am mentally and emotionally burned out. I keep going because I have goals set and I literally don’t know what else to do. But I feel like I’m on autopilot.

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