Still Here on a Monday

12,302 Days Alive

6,602 Books to Read

16 Days Till My Psych Appointment

9 Days Since I Last Slept Through the Night

3 Bars of Royalty Soap Bars That I Want (But can’t justify literally $30 for three bars of soap when I am this broke)

1 Living Room Vacuumed

1/2 Basket of Clothing Put Away

I am mentally and emotionally burned out. I keep going because I have goals set and I literally don’t know what else to do. But I feel like I’m on autopilot.

I am aware of the fact that I feel suicidal. So I try to make sure I eat at least once a day. That I stay hydrated, take all of my meds. I am the only one who can truly hold myself accountable.

So I keep going. Even when all I want to do is skip gleefully into the Strawberry Festival and succumb to anaphylactic shock by just breathing too much or something.

So I make plans.

Doctors appointments.

Try to read another page in another book.

Choke down a meal.

Keep crocheting and working on projects.

Keep going.

I’m trying. I may not be doing a great job, but all I can do is keep going.

I just have to keep going.

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