12,302 Days Alive
6,602 Books to Read
16 Days Till My Psych Appointment
9 Days Since I Last Slept Through the Night
3 Bars of Royalty Soap Bars That I Want (But can’t justify literally $30 for three bars of soap when I am this broke)
1 Living Room Vacuumed
1/2 Basket of Clothing Put Away
I am mentally and emotionally burned out. I keep going because I have goals set and I literally don’t know what else to do. But I feel like I’m on autopilot.
I am aware of the fact that I feel suicidal. So I try to make sure I eat at least once a day. That I stay hydrated, take all of my meds. I am the only one who can truly hold myself accountable.
So I keep going. Even when all I want to do is skip gleefully into the Strawberry Festival and succumb to anaphylactic shock by just breathing too much or something.
So I make plans.
Try to read another page in another book.
Choke down a meal.
Keep crocheting and working on projects.
I’m trying. I may not be doing a great job, but all I can do is keep going.
I just have to keep going.