Day Three: Lost in the Forest

Days alive: 12,144

Hours slept: > 4

Number of Llewelyn Almanacs: 26

Number of ebooks on kindle: 4,182

Number of ebooks on wishlist: 387

My feeling small in the rest of the world.

Still tired today. Still feeling small and maladjusted. Still adjusting to the new meds something fierce. I was told, initially, to take them at night since they might have a soporific effect. And, my delightful brain being as it is, said noperoni and cheese to that idea.

Since Tuesday, the following rather obnoxious pattern has emerged:

    Take my meds around 9pm.
    Meditate briefly while waiting for the 20mg of melatonin to kick in
    Go to bed by 10pm.
    Occasionally snuggle the hell out of my wife.
    Fall asleep sometime after midnight.
    Wake up at one.
    Wake up at three.
    Be unable to get back to sleep until just before six am.

And for those playing along at home: my alarm goes off at 0625am on weekdays, 0700am on weekends.

It’s made work interesting, as I am back to running on caffeine and spite at this point.

Hopefully, I will be able to adjust to the new medication soon or find a schedule to take it that screws with my sleep schedule way less. I have a follow-up appointment with my psych doctor on the tenth and I’ll keep track of the sleep issues to report to her.

Still falling down the rabbit hole…

All I’m noticing so far is that I’m more anxious and angry, and can’t unwind. However, that could be less my new meds and more my mental focus. Since I have a very little positive frame for those with bipolar, I can’t seem to help but fixate like hell on it. I’m still upset. And I’ve barely done any research so far on how to manage symptoms and shit. I should get on that this weekend. And maybe buy a new purse?

We’ll see. I’m still lost in the forest here. But things will get better, or I’ll go screaming bonkers.

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