12,506 Days Alive
4 Squares Left to Join
I’m almost done with a commission piece. It’s been a much longer journey than I anticipated. But that’s so much like my life, isn’t it?
I never thought I’d make it past 18 years old. I thought I’d long since been dead by now, if I’m completely honest.
I thought I’d have died in a car crash. Or successfully gone through with a suicidal urge. Or just… died. Like Daddy did last December. No warning, no hope. Just dead.
I’m glad for the time I have, most days. I am aware that ever day is an unexpected gift that I should be thankful for. And, again, most days, I am. But some days are harder to be grateful for that time. When days, hours, minutes weigh down on me and seem to stretch on with nothing but pain and the negative downward spiral I can get stuck in. It sucks to be me, sometimes.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Take your meds, folks.