13,046 Days Alive
I actually did something artsy today! Fen got a new crafting toy and we were both playing with it.
Continue reading “Of Chimichangas and Crafting”Category: Depressed
Of Practical Magic and Picnic Tables
13,042 Days Alive
3 Butter Tarts Eaten
1 Old Favorite Shared with Fen
Somehow, despite knowing me for almost a decade, Fen had never seen the movie Practical Magic. Until tonight! We watched it and they really enjoyed it.
Continue reading “Of Practical Magic and Picnic Tables”Of Mondays and Mileage
13,036 Days Alive
195 Miles Driven Today
6 Hours of my Life I’ll Never Get Back
4 Hours Alone in the Car
2 Hours of Testing
1 Bowl of Curry for Dinner
Had the ADHD testing done today in Maitland. 97 miles away. Ugh. Dr Fyffe didn’t even bother to meet me, which kind of pissed me off. I got assistant Joy who was nice enough, in an unflavored oatmeal kind of way.
Continue reading “Of Mondays and Mileage”Of Laundry and Living Rooms
13,034 Days Alive
1.5 Loads of Laundry Done
1 Living Room Reorganized
I spent most of my day relaxing. Be it with just Spock and myself or with Sparrow, Fen, and I, today was just a chill day.
Continue reading “Of Laundry and Living Rooms”Of Prescriptions and Princesses
13,033 Days Alive
3 Cookie Dough Flautas Eaten
2 New Prescriptions
1 Long Day
My arm still hurts like the dickens from my COVID vaccination. But I’m not noticing any ill effects from it otherwise. Except being more tired than usual, but that would be lack of sleep.
Continue reading “Of Prescriptions and Princesses”Of Shots and Sleeping
13,032 Days Alive
I went to bed over an hour ago. I’m still not asleep. I know I’m tired. I even took meds to sleep. My arm is a little sore from where they gave me my second Covid vaccine shot.
Continue reading “Of Shots and Sleeping”Of Tears and Tacos
13,031 Days Alive
I had my meds doctor appointment today. I was honest about how much I’m struggling and how suicidal I am.
Continue reading “Of Tears and Tacos”Of Dill and Dishes
13,030 Days Alive
3 Cucumber Dill Sandwiches Consumed
My poor team lead Miss Britt is down for the count with a sinus infection, the poor dear. I hope she feels better soon. Work went well today, though I wish I’d gotten more calls done.
Continue reading “Of Dill and Dishes”Of Chicken and Calling
13,029 Days Alive
I actually feel like I did well at work today. I did a lot of calls, I think, and I didn’t cry in my car after work. Even had the spoons to make dinner when I got home despite being exhausted.
Continue reading “Of Chicken and Calling”Of Struggles and Silence
13,025 Days Alive
I’m… still not okay. I don’t have the spoon to go into it much, but suffice it to say that I’m terrified I’m going to lose my job. And by extension my place or live and car and everything.
I just don’t have a lot of fight left in me.
I’m going to bed.
Take your meds , folks.
Of Appointments and Apathy
13,022 Days Alive
Fair warning: heavy topics hereafter: it has been brought to my attention that being actively suicidal means my meds aren’t working. I thought it was something wrong with me. I’m not unhappy, per se, at least not more than usual. I mean, I’ve even had some good days recently.
Continue reading “Of Appointments and Apathy”Of Nausea and Nachos
13,018 Days Alive
3 Days of Migraine
1 Nauseous Me
I left work early today. I didn’t throw up in the trash can at work again, but it was a near thing. I did end up pain-puking when I got home and knocked out after a second dose of imatrex for almost three hours today.
Continue reading “Of Nausea and Nachos”Of Groceries and Going Forward
13,016 Days Alive
5 Jalapeño Poppers Eaten
2 Grocery Stores Visited
1 Slightly Exhausted Me
There are times where I feel if I stop moving, if I slow down, if I freeze up, I’ll keel over. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s a form of mania? I’m honestly not sure. Whatever it is, it’s exhausting. Utterly taxing.
Continue reading “Of Groceries and Going Forward”
Postmark Wonderland 