13,842 Days Alive
1 Cup Of Noodles Eaten
I am still working on getting through Story Genius and re-hammering out the story for my novel, Midnight Calls.
Continue reading “Of Noodles and Notebooks”Of Noodles and Notebooks
Category: Suicidal
Of Depression and Dinner
13,841 Days Alive
241 Words Written Today
4 Sandwiches Made
So, it’s been a few days since I’ve done a proper blog post. I’ve been fantastically depressed and not feeling up to pouring myself onto the digital page.
Continue reading “Of Depression and Dinner”Prompt Answer: Quote to Live By
Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?
In times of strife or stubble, much like I am going through right now, I bring to mind Max Ehrmann’s poem Desiderata. It is a few years shy of a century old poem, but resonates so strongly with me in so many ways.
One line in particular strikes a chord with me to the point of wanting to get it tattooed onto me:
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
Max Ehrmann, 1927
source: https://www.desiderata.com/desiderata.html
That last line in particular helps me. “You have a right to be here.” I don’t always feel that I do. I don’t often feel like I wish to be here. It’s a daily battle I wage against my own brain gremlins.
I hate that I’m suicidal. It makes me feel like I’m weak or something.
All I can do is keep going.
Of Hurting and Hunger
Of Weirdness and Writing
13,820 Days Alive
I spent the day writing for the first time in forever. I hopped on the weekly sprint thing in the 221B Discord that I love and was able to get about 600 words written. I feel accomplished.
Continue reading “Of Weirdness and Writing”Of Haruhi and Horchata
13,819 Days Alive
We’re at our Saturday Pathfinder game and I left my new Haruhi Hitlock, my Strix crack shot, mini-figurine at home. Boo.
Continue reading “Of Haruhi and Horchata”Of Dice and Dirt
13,818 Days Alive
2 Empanada Operada Eaten
1 New Mini Figure Received!
The mini-figure for my Pathfinder character, Haruhi Hitlock, arrived today! She’s a crack shot Strix, an owl person, who looks awesome.
Continue reading “Of Dice and Dirt”Of Bacon and Beans
13,814 Days Alive
3 Spiced Brown Sugar Bacon Twists Eaten
1 Pot of Potato Soup Made
Oh. My. Gods.
Mellon had a pair of plushies made for us: a Bean, me, and a Melon slice, them! They are painfully adorable.
Continue reading “Of Bacon and Beans”Of Groceries and Gross
13,813 Days Alive
7 Days of Pills Prepped
2 Grocery Stores Shopped
4 Meals Planned
I hate doing dishes. I love having a clean sink and silverware to use though, so I’ve been doing them little by little.
But gods did the sink need a good scrubbing.
Continue reading “Of Groceries and Gross”Of Rows and Rice
13,812 Days Alive
27 Armor Class
5 Rows Added to Junior’s Blanket
Well, my brain gremlins/depression kicked up again. I could barely pull myself from bed today. And ended up needing a nap halfway through the day because I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
Continue reading “Of Rows and Rice”Prompt Answer: First Thing That Comes To Mind
Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.
I’m not always glad I am still here. I know it’s probably the brain gremlins talking. I know it. But I am not always glad for the continued struggle, despite the successes I’ve had.
I have my GED. A place to live. A really, really good job. And I have my cat, partner, and a small group of local friends.
I just have to keep going. But fucking hell is it exhausting.
Of Photos and Phyrexians
13,804 Days Alive
1,303 Days Straight on Duolingo
19 Booster Packs Cracked
1 Ice Cream Cone Enjoyed
I bloody slept all day. Like, woke up at nine thirty to eat breakfast, stayed up till maybe eleven am? And then passed back out till 4:30pm.
Continue reading “Of Photos and Phyrexians”Of Changes and Chimichangas
13,800 Days Alive
Mellon and I both kinda accidentally napped after they got off work. I meant to crochet, but my body said “you sleep now”.
Continue reading “Of Changes and Chimichangas”
Postmark Wonderland 