Category: Depression

Tortillas, Television, and Tired

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

12,216 Days Alive

7,044 Books to Read

16 Freshly Made Tortilla Chips

I’m… not doing okay. But I’m here.

Still crocheting. I’ve read two books so far today. And managed a culinary undertaking in making keto friendly tortilla chips.

So I’m going to go crochet a bit more before bed.

Take your meds folks.

Sleep, Shopping, and Some Spirits!

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

12,215 Days Alive

6,754 Books To Read

14 Days Until I Meet Baby Bubble

4 Books I Need to Remember to Review

3 Frog and Restart Sessions

1 Entire Digorno Pizza Consumed

I officially said my final fair well to carbohydrate consumption in great amounts today. I start the ketogenic diet fully in the morning. Why?

Because I know I can do it. I want to do it. And for fuck’s sake, I am tired of being fat.

***Trigger warning for content: I am going to discuss my being a rape survivor in this entry.***

Continue reading “Sleep, Shopping, and Some Spirits!” →

Dream, Down, Delightful Downpours, and Dear Friends

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

12,303 Days Alive

6,619 Books to Read

14 Days Till My Psych Appointment

13 Weeks Since Daddy Died

12 Books Read So Far This Year

6 Days Since I’ve Touched a Book

1 Gifted Pizza

I need to get back into the swing of reading. I’m kind of completely lacking as of late. Just haven’t… even in the midst of mania can’t be bothered.

Continue reading “Dream, Down, Delightful Downpours, and Dear Friends” →

Still Here on a Monday

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

12,302 Days Alive

6,602 Books to Read

16 Days Till My Psych Appointment

9 Days Since I Last Slept Through the Night

3 Bars of Royalty Soap Bars That I Want (But can’t justify literally $30 for three bars of soap when I am this broke)

1 Living Room Vacuumed

1/2 Basket of Clothing Put Away

I am mentally and emotionally burned out. I keep going because I have goals set and I literally don’t know what else to do. But I feel like I’m on autopilot.

Continue reading “Still Here on a Monday” →

So-Called Sunday

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

12,301 Days Alive

My weekend isn’t over yet. I have tomorrow off. I’m… I don’t know if I will sleep tonight.

I will try.

I saw a raccoon this evening. Maybe he means that my problem solving skills or adaptability will come to use this week.

I’ll stay up a bit and crochet some more.

Mania, Movies, & Munchies,

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

12,300 Days Alive

5 and a Half Hours Worked

2 Movies Watched

1 Bowl of Trail Mix Eaten

1/2 a Disappointing but Free Pumpernickel Bagel

I had work this morning and it kind of felt like the day was running atop a half melted records. Time seemed to lag and jump in spurts like someone had left a record to melt over a doily and then tried to play it, expecting Chopin and getting meaningless screams back.

Continue reading “Mania, Movies, & Munchies,” →

Wonderfully Productive Wednesday

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

12,297 Days Alive

6,587 Books to Read

10 Books Read and Reviewed So Far

5 Chairs and a Dining Room Table Procured

4 Shawls Planned Out

3 Roses Found

2 and a Half Hour Meeting

1 Hat Restarted

I finished another book today! One of the Craving For Cozies books I had planned to read as part of my 2019 Reading Challenge! And had a very, very long meeting at work. And with some outside assistance, we bought our kitchen table!

Continue reading “Wonderfully Productive Wednesday” →