2nd Night of Hanukkah 2019/Christmas Eve Eve

12,596 Days Alive

2nd Night of Hanukkah

1 Tired Me

I didn’t sleep well last night. Bad pain night. I took all my meds, and melatonin. But sleep was still evasive as hell.

I’m hoping I get better sleep tonight. The brain fog was pretty bad today. I couldn’t remember my work phone number without staring at the post it with it written on it.

My poor team leader Ms. A was out sick today. And a team member left. But other than that it was a good day?

I’m glad to have a job that doesn’t leave me physically ill from the stress of it. I love going to work. I love what I do. I just need to get a little better at it.

I’m struggling pretty hard with suicidal thoughts tonight. Maybe because I’m in so much pain? It was raining most of the day and I’ve just been a giant aching mess.

I’m still here. And I’ve no plans to do anything. But the mental radio of negative thoughts is playing pretty loud. Louder than Peanut, who is content to sit on my back, just out of reach, and scream in his kitty way for affection.

I’m so tired. Mentally and physically. I got some crocheting done. Worked more on a Commission piece that’s nearing the end stages. And watched a new movie.

Tomorrow is Tink’s birthday, at least. So there’s that to look forward to. I’m picking up Chinese food for a nice Christmas Eve dinner for all of us. So that’ll be nice.

And it’s a half day at work tomorrow. So that’s groovy as well. Hopefully Ms. A will be feeling better.

I’m for bed. Good night and take your meds, folks.

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