Coming back from the other side of my Bipolar Wonderland through medication, creativity, and moxie.
13,849 Days Alive
1 Missing Mexican Pizza
Mellon tried to be sweet today and surprise me with Tacos Bell for lunch, since we both had this holiday Monday off. It… didn’t go well, thanks to the carelessness of no doubt over worked, and underpaid, food service workers.
Continue reading “Of Mexican and Mistakes”
13,848 Days Alive
2 Rows Crocheted
I had a pair of awful nightmares today. This morning, it was all about my father, M.R, who came back from the dead only to die again.
Continue reading “Of Matilda and Mid-day Nightmares”
13,842 Days Alive
1 Cup Of Noodles Eaten
I am still working on getting through Story Genius and re-hammering out the story for my novel, Midnight Calls.
Continue reading “Of Noodles and Notebooks”
13,841 Days Alive
241 Words Written Today
4 Sandwiches Made
So, it’s been a few days since I’ve done a proper blog post. I’ve been fantastically depressed and not feeling up to pouring myself onto the digital page.
Continue reading “Of Depression and Dinner”
13,834 Days Alive
1,677 Words Written Today
1,333 Days Straight on Duolingo
1 Accidental Nap
I was not as productive as I wanted to be today. Just… emotionally overwhelmed. I hate this particular holiday. Mother’s Day is not a happy day for me.
Continue reading “Of Emotions and Electronics”
13,827 Days Alive
121 Miles Driven in the Dark, Rainy Night
5 Games of Mahjong Played
2 Games of Mahjong Won!
1 Plate of Nachos Eaten
I had nachos for dinner at a Denny’s with Mellon outside of Michigan City, Indiana at half past midnight this morning.
Continue reading “Of Tiles and Travel”Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?
In times of strife or stubble, much like I am going through right now, I bring to mind Max Ehrmann’s poem Desiderata. It is a few years shy of a century old poem, but resonates so strongly with me in so many ways.
One line in particular strikes a chord with me to the point of wanting to get it tattooed onto me:
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
Max Ehrmann, 1927
source: https://www.desiderata.com/desiderata.html
That last line in particular helps me. “You have a right to be here.” I don’t always feel that I do. I don’t often feel like I wish to be here. It’s a daily battle I wage against my own brain gremlins.
I hate that I’m suicidal. It makes me feel like I’m weak or something.
All I can do is keep going.
13,819 Days Alive
We’re at our Saturday Pathfinder game and I left my new Haruhi Hitlock, my Strix crack shot, mini-figurine at home. Boo.
Continue reading “Of Haruhi and Horchata”
13,818 Days Alive
2 Empanada Operada Eaten
1 New Mini Figure Received!
The mini-figure for my Pathfinder character, Haruhi Hitlock, arrived today! She’s a crack shot Strix, an owl person, who looks awesome.
Continue reading “Of Dice and Dirt”
13,817 Days Alive
$2,498.90 for One Month of Meds Without Insurance
3 Slices of Pizza Eaten for Dinner
Well, my meds, or my insulins at least, are again financially out of my reach for at least the next six weeks or so. I get insurance on June first. My other meds I can use GoodRx to afford.
Continue reading “Of Insulin and Impossibility”
13,814 Days Alive
3 Spiced Brown Sugar Bacon Twists Eaten
1 Pot of Potato Soup Made
Oh. My. Gods.
Mellon had a pair of plushies made for us: a Bean, me, and a Melon slice, them! They are painfully adorable.
Continue reading “Of Bacon and Beans”
13,813 Days Alive
7 Days of Pills Prepped
2 Grocery Stores Shopped
4 Meals Planned
I hate doing dishes. I love having a clean sink and silverware to use though, so I’ve been doing them little by little.
But gods did the sink need a good scrubbing.
Continue reading “Of Groceries and Gross”
13,812 Days Alive
27 Armor Class
5 Rows Added to Junior’s Blanket
Well, my brain gremlins/depression kicked up again. I could barely pull myself from bed today. And ended up needing a nap halfway through the day because I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
Continue reading “Of Rows and Rice”
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