13,026 Days Alive
Today was awful and I don’t want to talk about it. The highlight of my day was watching the Lakia film Paranorman.
Continue reading “Of Paranoia and Paranorman”Of Paranoia and Paranorman
Category: Suicidal
Of Struggles and Silence
13,025 Days Alive
I’m… still not okay. I don’t have the spoon to go into it much, but suffice it to say that I’m terrified I’m going to lose my job. And by extension my place or live and car and everything.
I just don’t have a lot of fight left in me.
I’m going to bed.
Take your meds , folks.
Of Spaghetti and Suicidal Thoughts
13,024 Days Alive
1 Bowl of Pasta Eaten
I’m more exhausted than a NASCAR tailpipe right now, and I’m fried from work, so I’ll be quick.
I’m really, really in a dark place right now. I’m having trouble with the mental radio.
I’m not okay. But I’m going to do my best to power through this down slide.
I’m going to go cry myself to sleep.
Take your meds, folks.
Of Pills and Pain Levels
13,023 Days Alive
15 Hour Day
2 Slices of Cake Eaten
I’ve been up since six am. Relatively okay, actually. I got done what I aimed to do this work day and mostly relaxed after work.
Continue reading “Of Pills and Pain Levels”Of Appointments and Apathy
13,022 Days Alive
Fair warning: heavy topics hereafter: it has been brought to my attention that being actively suicidal means my meds aren’t working. I thought it was something wrong with me. I’m not unhappy, per se, at least not more than usual. I mean, I’ve even had some good days recently.
Continue reading “Of Appointments and Apathy”Of Pearls and Progress
13,021 Days Alive
1 Cup of Chai Enjoyed
So I made cheaters Caprese salad this evening. Basil, tomato, mozzarella pearls, spring mix, white onion, and balsamic vinaigrette. Super easy to make and eat. It gets better the longer it rests, too, so the leftovers will be awesome tomorrow.
Continue reading “Of Pearls and Progress”Of Nausea and Nachos
13,018 Days Alive
3 Days of Migraine
1 Nauseous Me
I left work early today. I didn’t throw up in the trash can at work again, but it was a near thing. I did end up pain-puking when I got home and knocked out after a second dose of imatrex for almost three hours today.
Continue reading “Of Nausea and Nachos”Of Groceries and Going Forward
13,016 Days Alive
5 Jalapeño Poppers Eaten
2 Grocery Stores Visited
1 Slightly Exhausted Me
There are times where I feel if I stop moving, if I slow down, if I freeze up, I’ll keel over. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s a form of mania? I’m honestly not sure. Whatever it is, it’s exhausting. Utterly taxing.
Continue reading “Of Groceries and Going Forward”Of Brownouts and Blankets
13,015 Days Alive
1 Hour Without Power at Work
Today was fantastically frustrating. We lost power just after lunch today. Not for too long, but long enough to be annoying and to throw off my whole day.
Continue reading “Of Brownouts and Blankets”Of The Princess Bride and Power Outages
13,014 Days Alive
21 Motifs to Finish
2 Lovey-Dovey Movies
1.5 Hours Without Power
1 Still Under the Weather Kitty
So the power knocked out for about two hours or so earlier today. We were watching The Princess Bride when the power went out. Fen and I opened up the house and did some cleaning while the power was out.
Continue reading “Of The Princess Bride and Power Outages”Of Celebration and Cola
13,013 Days Alive
5 Rolls of Sushi Eaten
2.5 Diet Cokes Consumed
1 Awesome Day
Spock had me up at four a.m. again today. He was hungry which is a good thing. He’s still constipated, but he’s in good spirits and still eating and drinking as he should.
Continue reading “Of Celebration and Cola”Of Pain and Patience
13,011 Days Alive
2 Soft Tacos Eaten
I’m eight motifs into the twenty one of the blanket I’m making for Meg, the Jeweled Knot Blanket. It’s going really well. I may be able to make this pattern from memory by the end of it.
Continue reading “Of Pain and Patience”Of Immunizations and Illness
13,009 Days Alive
I get my first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine tomorrow. I’m not looking forward to it as I’m always afraid of having bad reactions to shots.
But I’ll power through.
Continue reading “Of Immunizations and Illness”
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