Coming back from the other side of my Bipolar Wonderland through medication, creativity, and moxie.
14,546 Days Alive
6,876 Days Since I Stopped Drinking Alcohol
64 Minutes Spent Texting 988 Today
20 Days of this Fucking Headache
7 Days Till Spock’s 15th Birthday
1 Hour Till Payday
I’m still here. I’m suicidal but safe. No plan. Not enough energy to do anything anyway. Did therapy today. Lots of Big Emotions. But I’m still here.
Continue reading “Of Therapy and Tolerance”
14,190 Days Alive
3 Colors of Peppers Eaten
2.5 Hour Nap Taken
1 Hit, 1 Pathfinder Character Dead
Oof. I am le tired. I got up early this morning to help my friends Tina and Beau set up for the tiny human’s fourth birthday party. And then attended said party.
Continue reading “Of Characters and Cupcakes”What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?
A job I’d like to do for just one day, just to fulfill my childhood dream, is be a bartender at a tiny, hole in the wall, nowheresville bar. Just once.
I wanted so badly to be a great server and bartender when I was growing up. My mom worked at TGIFriday’s when I was a kid and somewhere in the world is a picture of little six or seven year old me wearing her uniform shirt like a dress.
13,313 Days Alive
1 Beef and Bean Burrito Eaten
I’m absolutely exhausted. Like, fell asleep at my desk on my lunch break tired.
I’m not quite okay, either. It’s a “I wish the water I was drinking was vodka” kinda night. But victory was mine, as I stayed sober.
I’m going to bed.
Take your meds, folks.
13,265 Days Alive
Today is what Sherlock’s Mycroft would call a “danger night”.
Continue reading “Of Alcohol and Air”
13,245 Days Alive
2 Craft Stores Visited
I’m going to be making wreathes to try and finance my move up north. I got some supplies at both Michael’s and JoAnn’s with J and her mom.
Continue reading “Of Grapevine and Glass Skulls”
12,818 Days Alive
47 Point at Dinosaur Island
24 Roses Bought
6 Mini Muffins Eaten
2 Bowls of Chili
1 Tarot Card Reading from J
I didn’t sleep well last night. Woke up at four or so. I didn’t look at my phone, but it had to have been after three. I didn’t get back to sleep until my alarm went off at six thirty. Once I got to sleep, I slept like a rock.
Continue reading “Lammas/Lugh 2020”
12,810 Days Alive
2 Cheese Sticks Eaten
1 Load of Laundry Done
They finally fixed the dryer! Woo hoo! I guess I’m a little spoiled by the in-units, but it’s a necessity with the fact that I only wear a literal half of my wardrobe.
Continue reading “Heat and Help”
All right, another tricky one. This one is dark and delves deep into some of my issues. So, be forewarned.
Quick recap: for me, May of 2020 is all about self-love. I’m trying to be kinder and embrace a more self-focused positive attitude. Each day, I’ll be working from one of the prompts from Tia Harding’s 32 Self-Love Journal Prompts or from The Petite Planner’s 30 Days of Self-Love.
Here’s today’s prompt: “What areas of life do you need help with?“
Trigger warning: discussion of rape/sexual abuse, physical abuse, eating disorder, and alcoholism.
Continue reading “Self-Love Journal Prompt: Day 16”
12,446 Days Alive
Another week down
Not every coping mechanism is a positive one. Continue reading “Self Destruct Buttons”
12,404 Days Alive
Today was my last day at the University. It was bittersweet as hell. My coworkers threw me a little going away party and I, thank my not waterproof eyeliner, did not cry!
12,215 Days Alive
6,754 Books To Read
14 Days Until I Meet Baby Bubble
4 Books I Need to Remember to Review
3 Frog and Restart Sessions
1 Entire Digorno Pizza Consumed
I officially said my final fair well to carbohydrate consumption in great amounts today. I start the ketogenic diet fully in the morning. Why?
Because I know I can do it. I want to do it. And for fuck’s sake, I am tired of being fat.
***Trigger warning for content: I am going to discuss my being a rape survivor in this entry.***
12,268 Days Alive
6,393 Books to Read
7 Marshmallow Eaten
2 Slice of Banana Eaten
1 Moscow Mule Tried and Enjoyed
1 Really Awesome Night with Stephanie and Tink
We went to the Melting Pot for an early Imbolc celebration tonight!
Just Tink, Stephanie, and I.
We had fun!
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