14,262 Days Alive
I am stupidly depressed right now. I’ve no idea why, but literally I feel like I’m too depressed to function properly. I don’t want to eat. I’m forcing myself to hydrate.
But fuck do I not want to exist right now. It’s not suicidal, exactly. It’s a lack of wanting to exist. My pain levels are fucking high, work stress is slowly chipping away at my brain.
I’m passively job hunting for something less stressful. I really do just want to be a secretary or administrative assistant that runs a small law office for a handful of attorneys. I like being support staff, and I’m good at organizing other people’s chaos. But I can’t take a four dollar pay cut to get a modicum of work. Sixteen dollars seems to be the going rate for administrative work, unfortunately.
I’m going to keep looking. Maybe reup my American Tutoring Association certification to pick up some extra cash or something.
I’ve been reading a lot lately. Hell of a lot of escapism in the written word for me. I’ve been working my way through Saves the Cat Writes a YA Novel. I’m hoping it helps me build a better structure for my writings.
Anyway. I’m going to eat a pair of Mint Oreos and drink some water.
Take your meds, folks.
Postmark Wonderland 