Coming back from the other side of my Bipolar Wonderland through medication, creativity, and moxie.
12,233 Days Alive
3 Weeks Since Daddy’s Passing
2nd Christmas Since We Got Married
1 Massive Panic Attack
I didn’t sleep well last night. Nightmares aplenty. Of illness and heart failure. Of late night calls and of the funeral.
I wasn’t in a very merry mood this morning.
Days Alive: 12,231
Days Left in 2018: 8
Times I’ve Restarted the Current Shawl: 4
Kitties Alive and Well: 2
Naps Had Today: 2
There’s just over a week left in 2018. Change for the better is coming, I know it.
Cannot.
No spoons.
Here’s a picture of a cat.
We came home from dinner with Nan to find our youngest cat, Ariadne, dead in the middle of the floor. Her eyes were still open. The boys, Spock and Peanut seem to be fine. But now I’m terrified they’ll pass too.
I fell the hell apart. Full crying panic attack.
My father died two Tuesdays prior to today.
I also broke my glasses just now by tripping and stepping on them.
I’m kind of over December.
Have some pictures of our tiny kitten, Ariadne. May she Rest In Peace.
Days Alive: 12,224
Miles Traveled Today: at last 977 miles
Steps Today: 4,000
Streak on Duolingo: 26 days
I am home again. And heading to bed.
Days alive: 12,217
Days till I fly to Texas: 2
Night of Hanukkah: 8th
Cats Snuggled in Close Proximity: 3
Things Accomplished Today: Many
Days Since Loss: 5
I am still really struggling these days.
I haven’t really had the time or opportunity to really mourn yet. I’m hoping my trip to Texas allows me that.
Days Alive: 12,210
Day of Hanukkah: 1st
Sushi Rolls Eaten: 3
Times We Made Andrea Laugh Until She Turned Purple: 4
Caffeinated Soap Nipples Discussed: 2
Day Streak on Duolingo, Spanish: 12
Happy first night of Hanukkah! I’m exhausted, so a quick entry here.
Days Alive: 12,209
Bowls of Hummus Decimated: 2
Oh my gods. Today was awesome.
Days Alive: 12,207
Sweet Potatoes Diced: 4
Steps Walked: 3,918
Hours Slept: 2.5
Chicken Nuggets Eaten: 20
Tramadol Taken: 1
Cats Betrayed By Not Sharing Any Chicken Nuggets At All With Them Because I Am a Mean, Mean Mama Who Doesn’t Share Human Food: 3
Things I Forgot Today: 3
I’ve been kinda half-adding posts lately because I’ve just been out of spoons.
Reminder to self: write the damn post on Spoon Theory.
So, I’m exhausted, but I have a cute lady next to me (my Darling Wife), two cats resting on me (butt warmer and foot warmer, respectively), and the prep work done for the potluck tomorrow.
Days Alive: 12,199
Days Worked This Week: 2
Words Left to Write: so many!
Things Planned Tomorrow: 3
To Do List: not too bad?
Holiday Decorations Hung: 29 angels, 2 wreaths, and a bunch of Christmas ornaments
Photo heavy post!
Man, I worked three days this week. My new work schedule runs Saturday to Friday, so it was Saturday, yesterday, and today.
Days alive: 12,196
Steps for the day: 1,941
Nightmares had: 2
Naps taken: 1
Baskets of laundry put away: 1
Crochet projects worked on: 1
Still haven’t touched my NaNovel, but today was productive nonetheless. Breakfast, grocery shopping, crocheting; all in all a productive day.
Days Alive: 12,195
Hours Worked: 5.5
Steps For the Day: 2,083
Sushi Rolls Eaten: 4
Words Written: 0
Crochet Projects Worked On: 1
First weekend shift today. Lot of nightmares last night, so I was exhausted. Like, had to slap my face to stay awake on the drive home exhausted.
Days Alive:12,193
Hop toads: 1
Number of Photos Said Hop Toad Posed for When Asked: 3
Endometrial Polyp Being an Jerk: 1
Cats Whining at 11 Volume: 1 (Spock)
Paper Angels Made: 30
Days Since I’ve Touched my NaNovel: uh… four? Five?
Chicken Nuggets Eaten: 10
Words I’m Planning to Write this Weekend: 15k
Anyone who gets squicked out or triggered by talk of toads, menstruation, homelessness, or super bad insomnia, get thee hence.
You have been warned.
Postmark Wonderland 