Massively Melancholy

12,682 Days Alive

Maybe it’s because everything is spiraling out of control? Maybe I’m just in a downswing. Either way, today is an uphill battle to maintain functionality.

I feel awful. Sore and aching along my entire right side. I could barely focus at work today it was so bad. I tried to just keep going. But gods did I want to go home. I feel bad because it’s just me and Miss A in the office now. Everyone else has gone remote. It may be weeks before they come back.

I’m so tired. I hope this isn’t the start of another flare up.

I’m so stressed, too; and socially isolating due to COVID-19. We had take out tonight, that I picked up, from Glory Dayz. It was pretty good, if not quite the same as having it in the restaurant.

I don’t know why my mental health is so poorly. I have therapy on Friday, at least. I can talk with Vickie about how I’m feeling.

If I can get the words out at least. I know I’m feeling overwhelmed. I know I’m sad. I know I’m in pain. And most of my friends don’t have the time or ability for me to lean on them right now; or they have too much going on in their own lives that I feel like I can’t intrude with my own issues.

The divorce court date is coming up. Just over a month from tomorrow, five weeks from tomorrow as a matter of fact. I’m taking a half day at work to go to court and taking the day after, a Friday, off.

I’m still sad about the divorce, even if it’s for the best. I’m allowed to have feelings about it. I just don’t know what to do with them. Of course, this is if we don’t end up on lockdown from the COVID-19 virus. Gods hopes things will get better by then.

I’ve run out of things to say.

Take your meds, folks.

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