Of Fantasy and Farewells

13,455 Days Alive

1 New Adventure

This is my final weekend evening with J and Bill6 before they start their transition up north to Ohio.

I got my tetanus booster today at the damned Walmart and my arm is hurting like a motherfucker. I’ve been applying cold/heat to try and help. And I’ve got a bit of a headache.

But! I had a special treat today: a full glass of orange juice! It was delicious.

Right now we’re playing Eldritch Horror at their kitchen table. It’s only the third time I’m playing and we’re losing pretty badly. Still having fun though.

We did tarot reading earlier today, J and I did, and we both basically got exactly what we thought we’d get considering the inquiries made. I asked what May would bring and basically got that I’d get the fruits of my labor that I sowed in the coming weeks. Possible new job, possible new story idea? Lots of support from family needed, so I’ll have to fight my prideful nature and remember to ask for help lest I stumble and fall.

We had some frozen pizza for dinner, which was delicious. I tried having a little treat, some leftover Easter candy, but it was gross. Disappointing Sour Patch Kids candy that was just terribly textured.

I’ll be traveling next weekend with Cleo to help them deal with the recent loss of her father up in Georgia. That’ll be interesting as I’ve not road tripped with them before. I’ll be leaving Spock with Fen for the weekend.

Mentally, I’m troubled. Extra pain means extra frustration for me and trouble sleeping. I’m hoping I’m able to get good rest tonight with this damn sore arm. I’m worried about finances again, with my hours short this paycheck, but I’ll do my best to get by.

I’m worried about Cleo, the upcoming trip for J and Bill6, my move, and a few other things. Among them are concerns about Spock’s health and how well he’ll make the transition to Chicago in July. I’m also afraid of losing friends due to distance. But I struggle greatly with rejection sensitivity so it’s difficult for me to have friends that fall away. I feel like it’s always my fault, even if it isn’t, and I’m still sort of emotionally reeling from the loss of a twelve year friendship back in November.

Well, and If I’m totally honest? I’m still healing from the now two year old divorce, in all honesty. I’m over my ex-wife, thank the Gods, and wish her nothing but an interesting life. No true ill will, but I won’t wish her well because she doesn’t deserve my positive energy anymore.

I’m off to help us try, however unlikely, to win this game. And to take some Tylenol for the damn sore arm like the pharmacist suggested.

Take your meds, folks.

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