Of College and Chicago Dogs

14,509 Days Alive

13 Years Since I’ve Been Enrolled in College

5 Hours Fighting with the Computers at Work

2 FAFSA Applications Filled Out

1 Chicago Dog (Lacking Sport Peppers) Eaten,

I did it. I applied to be a student at Ultimate Medical Academy for their Medical Billing and Coding degree. I am “I had to take anti-anxiety meds to calm the fuck down” anxious about it. Why? Because of many reasons.

For the first time, I am seriously making an effort to go back to school and get my degree, specifically my AA. I’ve filled out applications, ordered transcripts, submitted requests for Financial Aid…. It’s terrifying.

I had a formal diagnosis of ADHD when I was in college but never asked for accommodations for it. Now, I have fibromyalgia as an answer to some of my health issues, bipolar, depression , anxiety, and some pretty bad anemia for others. The anemia, by the by, I’m going to try and get sorted at my doctor appointment tomorrow. And I have therapy, finally, on the 20th.

I want… more. I want to have my degree. It means something to me, even if I can’t figure out what or why I want it so badly. It would just be a personal accomplishment. An achievement I was often told I’d never have. I mean, I got my GED back in 2008 for crying out loud. My higher learning adventure, in which I failed because I became homeless, is a decade plus in the rearview mirror.

I don’t know if I’ll succeed. I hope I will. I really do want to have competed that particular cycle of learning. And maybe strive for more? But time, and the political bullshit of the current reality, will tell.

I’ve got to go to bed. I’ve got a short worn day tomorrow due to the doctor appointment and I need sleep.

Take your meds, folks.