Days alive: 12,174
Hours slept: 5.5 hours
Games played today: 4 and counting
Cookies had: 5
Panic attacks had: 2
Days till NaNoWriMo: 4 and counting!
Crochet projects restarted: 1
Days till my Darling Wife’s birthday: 2
It’s Game Day at my friends, hosted by a hubby and wife pair we all know, Jay and Sunflower, along with Bill6, my Darling Wife, and J. An amazing amount of spooky themed food and games.
They have beer brewing in the background, bubbling merrily with happy yeasts trying to escape like hell.
And this morning, when I was tired of being awake and doing absolutely nothing, I restarted the rainbow wrap that I’m making with the… “help” of a cat.
I am still on the yarn buying moratorium, to keep my collection down and try to weed out stuff before buying any more. So, I grabbed nine relatively rainbow colors that I had. Wish I had brown to add in for a more inclusive rainbow.
But, of course, I had a cat helping me.
He even had to help with laundry when we were putting things away before we went to spooky game day.
He’s so helpful.
As awesome as all of this is, I am having a wretched mental day.
I feel like I am a giant bother. That none feel like having around and don’t want to say anything that they don’t want me around out of pity for my wife.
I am assured that my brain gremlins lie. That I am wanted, that I am not a bother, that I am making a contribution by being here.
But I am utterly exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally.
I’m trying to keep going, be social and such. I’ve had two panic attacks while we were here. I’m just going to go home, shortly, with my Darling Wife, craw into bed, and go the hell to sleep.