12,897 Days Alive
2 Burritos Eaten
1 More Chapter Plotted Out
So, today was a rough day. Work did not go well and I had a mild panic attack at work due to unrelated things.
I’m… struggling. I want to be open and honest and transparent in general but I am so used to just squaring my shoulders and soldiering on through discomfort. Regardless of whether it is platonic or romantic, I make acquaintances easily but actual friends rarely. I keep a lot of things close to the chest, an interesting poker reference that I didn’t understand until fairy recently.
I struggle to correctly articulate how I’m feeling in a given moment. I often need time to process and then need to circle back later on to discuss how I am feeling or how I was impacted.
I am not a person of great passions. I’m very slow to anger, but far quicker to laugh. And I am very well used to being poorly played by Life. I have endured and survived and thrived despite all of my burdens.
I need to learn to share beyond the superficial and communicate my needs more effectively. I also need to meditate more regularly. I sleep better, regardless of companionship, when I do.
That being said, I am fried from today. Post-panic attack comedown sucks bawls.
Take your meds, folks.