Tag: Depression

Pleasantries, Perspective, Pain Meds, and PBJ

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

Days Alive: 12,185

Word Count For NaNoWriMo: 15,515

Words Left to Write For NaNoWriMo: 34,485

Laps Around the Campus Building Today: 7

Times I Said “Pleased to meet you!”: 27

Slices of Supreme Pizza Eaten: 2

Episodes of Bake Off Watched: 2

Hot Cocoa Kisses Eaten: 4

The third day of my new adventure was lovely! I got the official tour of the facility. Met so many people… whose names I have nearly all immediately forgotten. Ah well. Miriam tried her best.

I wish I could offer some cheerful tripe about how my awesome night of sleep made for an amazing morning, a cheerful day at work, an easy day, and restful evening. But all I can say is that work was good, and I am in vision darkening levels of pain.

Continue reading “Pleasantries, Perspective, Pain Meds, and PBJ” →

Adventures, Asthma, and An Almost Auto Accident

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ 1 Comment

Days Alive: 12,183

Cups of Tea Had: 1

Tea Bags Shared with New Coworkers: 3

Asthma Attacks: 1, on the way home

Auto Accidents Avoided: 2

Tacos Consumed: 1

Total Word Count for NaNoWriMo: 13,676

Words Remaining: 36,324

I am so sleep deprived. I’ve been up since two am today. Getting through without caffeine has been interesting.

Oh! And I nearly got into a head on collision when someone decided the light wasn’t red enough and they ran it. I jerked my car into the bike lane/right turn lane and managed not to hit anyone. But, the sudden stop and resulting constriction of the seat belt, as well as the anxiety of it, triggered a mild asthma attack. But I’m home now, had my inhaler on me, and I’m fine. No one was hurt, other than my chest a bit. And no one else hit me during my evasive maneuvers.

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Brain Gremlins and Babes

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ 1 Comment

Days alive: 12,182

Words Written for NaNoWriMo So Far: 12,666

Words Left to Write for NaNoWriMo: 37,334

Adventures Had Today: 2

Suicidal Thoughts Today: dozens

Cups of Tea Had: 4 (sweet, chilled kind)

Cats Being Clingy Meowing Jerks: 3

Rough mental day, but I got some pretty nice pictures out of it! Warning, I am currently struggling with suicidal issues. You may want to skip this read.

Continue reading “Brain Gremlins and Babes” →

Today is Not Pretty

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ 1 Comment

Days alive: 12, 179

Day of NaNoWriMo: 1

Words Left to Write Today: 1,310

Words Left to Write for the Month: 49,643

Times I’ve Cried Today: 9

Days Till My Next Adventure: 4

Things I Did other than Write: 19

So far today, I’ve been bizarrely non-productive, or at least busy and not doing what I should be? I’m not having a great mental health day. I barely slept last night. I think I read most of a 100k word count fanfic because I couldn’t bloody sleep.

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Pride, People, and Perpetual Procrastination

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

Days alive: 12,175

Days till NaNoWriMo: 3 and counting!

Cats ignoring my personal space bubble: 3

Years competing in NaNoWriMo: 11 so far

Chapters left to finish before 1st November: 5

Crochet projects worked on: 1

Books left to read: 4,713

Skeins bought despite the yarn buying moratorium: only 1, I swear!

Oh boy. I slept in, after not sleeping last night until my alarm went off at 530 a.m. And after that I finally got some rest. I didn’t get properly out of bed for anything but morning medications and a bathroom break until 2:30 p.m. But I needed the rest. And I’m still exhausted and ready for bed even now.

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Sweets, Stories, and Spock

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ 1 Comment

Days alive: 12,174

Hours slept: 5.5 hours

Games played today: 4 and counting

Cookies had: 5

Panic attacks had: 2

Days till NaNoWriMo: 4 and counting!

Crochet projects restarted: 1

Days till my Darling Wife’s birthday: 2

It’s Game Day at my friends, hosted by a hubby and wife pair we all know, Jay and Sunflower, along with Bill6, my Darling Wife, and J. An amazing amount of spooky themed food and games. Continue reading “Sweets, Stories, and Spock” →

Awake in the Gloaming

~ Theodora Vanyar ~ Leave a comment

Days alive: 12,167

Hours slept: 5.5

Woke up at: 0430

Days till NaNoWriMo: 11 and counting

I apparently accidentally set an alarm for 4:30 in the morning. And then realized my dreams of my alarm going off at three and four am were likely happening. But I was in the middle of a flashback driven nightmare, so going back to sleep wasn’t an option. As such, I’ve been up since.

Continue reading “Awake in the Gloaming” →