Days alive: 12,182
Words Written for NaNoWriMo So Far: 12,666
Words Left to Write for NaNoWriMo: 37,334
Adventures Had Today: 2
Suicidal Thoughts Today: dozens
Cups of Tea Had: 4 (sweet, chilled kind)
Cats Being Clingy Meowing Jerks: 3
Rough mental day, but I got some pretty nice pictures out of it! Warning, I am currently struggling with suicidal issues. You may want to skip this read.
Today… I woke up when my apparent second alarm went off at 6:45am. Allegedly, one went off at five thirty, but I don’t recall this. Sorry, Darling Wife! Anyway. By 8am I was utterly exhausted and literally wanting to die.
Like, eat strawberries wanting to die. Even though I start my new adventure tomorrow. Even though I have plans this week, weekend, for the holidays, for a femme nail day with a friend or three after my next year income day. Even though I have the chance to go back to school in the mid-term future.
I tried crocheting to make myself cheer up.
It did not work. All it did was make my hands hurt and remind me how many unfinished projects I have right now. And how I can’t afford yarn to make anything for the TWO soon to be added additions to my family tree. It tasted of failure, not of relaxation.
So I took my meds and literally took a nap in self defense. Now, my Darling Wife was the one that was a common sense filter here and reminded me I could literally just go back to sleep since we had no plans for the day. So, kudos to her.
Once I was up, the mental radio was still stuck on “you’re effing useless, please do us a favor and die”, so I took another mind mint and we went to meet up with our friend Nurse Andy!
Sub-par food, but conversation was fun. I always feel bad for the chicks with the leggings that don’t match their skin tone well. I liked… uh… the company? I mean, they screwed up tater tots.
On the way there, though, and back, I got some decent photos of the lovely day. Not as cool as yesterday, but still pleasant.
So that was lovely.
I was still hungry afterwards. As well as drowning in my own thoughts, I was just… stuck. A friend reached out and suggested haunting Kaleisia Tea for a bit.
That was certainly relaxing and there was good conversation there. Got to see Momo as well, and they are always good for a hug. Pleasant, if… trying? Because of brain gremlins, I feel like I was useless and a vortex of fun suckery while there, but I tried to be social.
Ended up having dinner with the in-laws that finally know they are my in-laws. It was entertaining enough. No catastrophic fights and I managed to offend a passing old, white dude by my existence in his general vicinity with my hair mohawked up and my “Have a Gay Day” shirt. Thanks, Joy! Just a dastardly part of the homosexual agenda: to have a pleasant meal with my spouse.
My brain is still screaming, but now I have a headache from either Truvia imbibing or caffeine withdrawal. Or stress. Or just a headache. Feels like a hybrid stress headache from where it’s centered.
At least I got my word count in around two am last night. Gotta sleep better tonight, though. Coz new adventure tomorrow!
Oh well. I’m still here.