Brain Gremlins and Babes

Days alive: 12,182

Words Written for NaNoWriMo So Far: 12,666

Words Left to Write for NaNoWriMo: 37,334

Adventures Had Today: 2

Suicidal Thoughts Today: dozens

Cups of Tea Had: 4 (sweet, chilled kind)

Cats Being Clingy Meowing Jerks: 3

Rough mental day, but I got some pretty nice pictures out of it! Warning, I am currently struggling with suicidal issues. You may want to skip this read.

Today… I woke up when my apparent second alarm went off at 6:45am. Allegedly, one went off at five thirty, but I don’t recall this. Sorry, Darling Wife! Anyway. By 8am I was utterly exhausted and literally wanting to die.

Like, eat strawberries wanting to die. Even though I start my new adventure tomorrow. Even though I have plans this week, weekend, for the holidays, for a femme nail day with a friend or three after my next year income day. Even though I have the chance to go back to school in the mid-term future.

I tried crocheting to make myself cheer up.

It did not work. All it did was make my hands hurt and remind me how many unfinished projects I have right now. And how I can’t afford yarn to make anything for the TWO soon to be added additions to my family tree. It tasted of failure, not of relaxation.

So I took my meds and literally took a nap in self defense. Now, my Darling Wife was the one that was a common sense filter here and reminded me I could literally just go back to sleep since we had no plans for the day. So, kudos to her.

Once I was up, the mental radio was still stuck on “you’re effing useless, please do us a favor and die”, so I took another mind mint and we went to meet up with our friend Nurse Andy!

Sub-par food, but conversation was fun. I always feel bad for the chicks with the leggings that don’t match their skin tone well. I liked… uh… the company? I mean, they screwed up tater tots.

On the way there, though, and back, I got some decent photos of the lovely day. Not as cool as yesterday, but still pleasant.

Photo dump:

So that was lovely.

I was still hungry afterwards. As well as drowning in my own thoughts, I was just… stuck. A friend reached out and suggested haunting Kaleisia Tea for a bit.

That was certainly relaxing and there was good conversation there. Got to see Momo as well, and they are always good for a hug. Pleasant, if… trying? Because of brain gremlins, I feel like I was useless and a vortex of fun suckery while there, but I tried to be social.

Ended up having dinner with the in-laws that finally know they are my in-laws. It was entertaining enough. No catastrophic fights and I managed to offend a passing old, white dude by my existence in his general vicinity with my hair mohawked up and my “Have a Gay Day” shirt. Thanks, Joy! Just a dastardly part of the homosexual agenda: to have a pleasant meal with my spouse.

My brain is still screaming, but now I have a headache from either Truvia imbibing or caffeine withdrawal. Or stress. Or just a headache. Feels like a hybrid stress headache from where it’s centered.

At least I got my word count in around two am last night. Gotta sleep better tonight, though. Coz new adventure tomorrow!

Oh well. I’m still here.

One thought on “Brain Gremlins and Babes

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