13,261 Days Alive
777 Days Straight on Duolingo
2 Days Till Daddy’s Birthday
I have some amazing friends: DW, Reffie, J, Bill6, and several others. But man am I an emotional wreck this week.
I had therapy today. I talked about how while I have compassion for my parents’ struggles in their youth and my own, I am still angry with them. I feel like I was never a priority for them. And while Daddy and I were good friends, we were admittedly awful at being Father and daughter. My parents were children who had children. Emotional maturity is not their strong suit.
I feel bad because I hold such complicated affections for them. I despise that I was homeless as long as we were. I hate that it feels like I can’t rely on anyone, truly, because I might be using them however accidentally.
Daddy’s birthday is on Wednesday. It doesn’t help my emotional state.
I’m going to just try and get through this week.
I’m not okay. Not even slightly. But I’m trying my best to get through and that is all I can do for now.
Take your meds, folks.