12,843 Days Alive
364 Day Streak on Duolingo
So, I make it no secret that I’m bipolar. I’m open and honest about it, my struggles, and my little successes in dealing with it through action, therapy, and medication.
But holy shit am I struggling right now.
I have therapy with a Vickie tomorrow. I made an “emergency appointment” because I need help. And I know I do. And I’m trying to reach out for it.
I’m suicidal. Not actively wanting to hurt myself but absolutely not wanting to exist right now. And that’s not a good thing.
So much has happened in the last few months that I think it’s finally all catching up with me and my mind has had enough.
I don’t have plans to take my life. I am safe. I have let people know how I am feeling and several people reached out to check on me, which I greatly appreciate.
I am, however, going to bed relatively early in self defense. I need sleep to make up for the fuck all rest I got last night.
I’ll be okay. I’m just in a very, very dark place right now.
Take your meds, folks.