12,888 Days Alive
I found a very pretty purple dress at Goodwill today. it was six bucks. I nearly bought another dress for thirteen dollars, but held off at Mel’s suggestion.
Today started with a bit of a lie-in. I slept till 6:30, then went back to bed after feeding Spock. J and I left to head to Mel’s place to spend time with her.
We ended up spending an hour or so in Mel’s hot tub, which was nice. My bathing suit fit very well, so I guess I’ve lost some weight or it’s redistributed elsewhere.
After that, we hit up Southern Hospitality, a store that has thousands of silk flowers. Thousands.
After that, we hit up IHOP for a little lunch. Followed by the Goodwill I mentioned earlier. I still wish I’d gotten that second dress, but it needed to be taken in, and hemmed, and dyed. It probably isn’t worth the effort because Gods only knows when I’ll actually get to have a night OUT.
I have to admit, I like going out. Cooking is fantastic and saves money. But damn do J miss going out. I want to go to Texas De Brazil again. Or Melting Pot. Or he’ll, Chili’s. Somewhere that isn’t just subpar pizza at home. IHOP was a treat today and that’s just a little sad. I used to have such fun adventures finding new places to eat. I miss that.
Actually, there are a couple places I’d like to go. The movies is definitely up there. But I’m so scared of getting sick. People aren’t taking COVID seriously. How hard is it to wear a goddamned mask? The life you save could be your own. Science has proven that even wearing a bandana over your face is better than nothing. Ugh.
It’s so vexing.
Anyway. I have therapy with Vickie on Friday. Not looking forward to it. She’s a nice lady, but a bad fit for me, therapy-wise. I feel like I’m paying her to talk about herself. And I have to forcibly steer our conversations to issues I’m having, otherwise she’ll just tangent off for twenty minutes about one thing or seven others.
And back to today: after Mel’s, J and I headed up to Inverness to drop her back at home. Since they are always willing to let me crash on their couch, I stayed for dinner and games. J and Bill6 are abed already. I’m still awake at nearly midnight. Bill6 made red beans and rice with andouille sausage for dinner. It was fantastic.
I know another thing I may do when I get paid: buy myself some flowers. I know it’s stupid, but damn it, I want something pretty, and flowers or a new set of earrings would fulfill that magpie desire to have lovely things. Fen got me an awesome tumbled stone at the crystal shop the other day. I’ll have to take a picture of it.
Maybe I should go to sleep. I mean…Physically, I’m exhausted. I can’t get my brain to shut off though. J did a reading for me and one of the things it mentioned was how this is a period of rebirth and finding my own stability again. Things are a little tight right now, which makes things difficult, but it will get better.
Mentally… I don’t know. I don’t know if the upped dosage of the Wellbutrin is helping or not. I’m so damn tired of being in pain all the time. And tired of being physically exhausted. I have Things I want to do and I just don’t have the spoons for it. Eventually, I’ll get around to that post on Spoon Theory, but today is not that day.
I guess I’m going to sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be even better.
Take your meds, folks.