14,711 Days Alive
6 Current Drafts of a Mission Statement for My Soon-To-Be-Formed LLC
4 Hours of Sleep.
I’m in a manic episode. But I’m giving myself emotional fucking whiplash coz I’ll be up for six hours, depressed for a few hours, and then manic again for another 6-10 hours.
My sleep schedule might as well be a snowman in hell for all that it seems to be stable. I am very rapidly cycling between manic and exhausted, and since I got laid off, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.
I’m hoping I can establish a “new normal” for myself. But I’ve been like this since… mmm…. Last Wednesday, I think.
I’ve tried everything I can think of short of drinking myself to sleep. I’m not even feeling physically tired, but my pain levels are high, I’m stuck in fast forward, and I hate it. I’m losing the words for things because it feels like someone shoved a KitchenAid, whisk up my nose, and turned it on high to scramble my brains
I need rest. I am trying my best and using the melatonin balm that I have which Lucian recommended. I tried trimming down my caffeine consumption to just 2 to 400 mg a day. And that seems to have done fuck all other than just give me a headache.
Well, I’m gonna try and meditate and lay down, to try and get some rest
Take your meds, folks.
Postmark Wonderland 