Of Vodka and Violence

12,975 Days Alive

2 Days Till Payday

1 Shot of Peach Vodka

There is great disturbances in the United States right now. Some white terrorists stormed the Capital Building earlier today and ransacked the place. They were not treated as the BLM protestors were. At all. And I am shaking in rage at the unfairness of it all.

So I’m going to focus on what I can control.

I asked Peter, my psych meds doctor, for a referral to ADHD testing. I’m tired of being un-medicated for something I was bloody diagnosed with during the Gulf War. So tired. I can’t focus, can’t sleep, and am underperforming at work because of said lack of focus.

The only thing that helps is caffeine pills. It’s the only way I can focus sometimes. But I haven’t been able to find them in stores lately, which is weird.

I’m so stressed. And I’m worried I didn’t qualify for the second stimulus check or something. And I don’t know what I’m going to do. I wanted to use that to pay down my student loans and my car payment. Maybe it’s just late. Or maybe I won’t get it at all and I’ll just have to deal with it. Who knows.

Work and the political bullshit aside, I’m… not okay. I’m having trouble remembering to eat. And then when I do eat, I eat too much. It’s a frustrating cycle.

I also just miss Steph. Like, I miss the friendship and laughter we had together. I miss her sarcasm and her wit. I have friends. Several, in fact, that are just as clever and biting in their social commentary. But I just miss my friend. But I don’t think an overture of friendship would be welcome in the slightest. So I’ll leave it be.

I’m going to go read some ebook or something before I go to bed.

Take your meds, folks.